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Rehab is for quitters.

"If you insist on leaving your fate to the gods, then the gods will repay your weakness by having a grin or two at your expense. Should you fail to pilot your own ship, don't be surprised at what inappropriate port you will find yourself docked."
-- Tom Robbins (Jitterbug Perfume)

If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why practice?

All that glitters has a high refractive index.

The haunting fragrance of her mysterious perfume lingered with me long after the blinding sting of her pepper spray had faded.
-- Nick DeCamp

"We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person, perfectly."

"Not a Morning Person" doesn't even begin to cover it.

I'm not a perfectionist. That would be a character flaw.

It's okay. Life doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be lived.
(Dexter)

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx

"Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful."
-- Annette Funicello

A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.
-- Doug Larson

"Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged about forever."

Baby-sitter, n: A teenager acting like an adult, while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

Insanity, a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
-- R. D. Lang

"Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person good night."
-- Andy Warhol

Ah, twitter, where people will be deeply outraged for one to six hours, before forgetting forever.

"Bitterness can eat you up, but it can't fuel you."
-- Benazir Bhutto

Arachnoleptic fit, n: The frantic dance performed just after you accidentally walk through a spider web.

Teacher's First Law of Grading Lab Papers: If an experiment has perfect results, the student has cheated.

The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.
-- Alfred Kinsey

"To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation."
-- St. Augustine

Cornflakes are not the innocent critters they seem!
-- Sterling Morrison

The loom works perfectly well without the steam powered wig darner and shortbread cutter stapled to the side.
-- Peter da Silva

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. Especially Bob Dylan.
-- Jim Rosenberg

Words skittered out of his mouth like cartoon dogs on fresh-waxed linoleum, frantically going nowhere.
-- Amy Tan

"I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.
-- Oscar Wilde

"Finding out what goes on in the C.I.A. is like performing acupuncture on a rock."
-- New York Times

"We all suffer from the preoccupation that there exists ... in the loved one, perfection."
-- Sidney Poitier

If you're not part of the freaks, you're part of the boredom.
-- Perry Farrell

Censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself.
-- Potter Stewart

"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."
-- William Dement

Adult, n: One old enough to know better.

"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
-- Mark Twain

Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.

In business, your judged by what you say... nothing can kill the confidence of a perspective client faster then a proposal littered with grammatical, usage or punctuation errors.
(Ad for RightWriter, The Grammar Checker)

Pedaeration, n: Achieving the perfect body heat by having one leg under the sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Aftermath, n: The period following algebra.

"One person can trigger a million thoughts."

"Well, let's just say, 'if your VCR is still blinking 12:00,you don't want Linux'".
-- Bruce Perens

Don't intterupt me when I'm talking to myself