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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a truckload of hand grenades... now that's a sign.
-- Jacqui

Common sense: The collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.
-- Albert Einstein

Rehab is for quitters.

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
-- Laurance J. Peter

Absent, adj: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.

Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, then sold off piece by piece.
-- Lisa (The Simpsons)

"Self-love is often unrequited."

I know I'm an acquired taste - I'm anchovies. And not everybody wants those hairy little things. If I was potato chips, I could go a lot more places, but I'm not.
-- Tori Amos

Science is not a body of knowledge nor a system of belief; it is just a term which describes humankind’s incremental acquisition of understanding through observation. Science is awesome.
-- Tim Minchin

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
-- Don Marquis

"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it."
-- Jack Wagner

The defect of equality is that we only desire it with our superiors.
-- Henry Becque

Girls are such exquisite hell.
-- Ovid

Enjoy yourself. If you can't enjoy yourself, enjoy somebody else.
-- Jack Schaefer