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Everyone has their first date... and the object is to hide your flaws. And then you're in a relationship and it's all about hiding your disappointment. Then once you're married it's about hiding your sins. (Dollhouse)
Brought to you by the people who made "out of context" a household word.
"If houses were built the way software is built,
the first woodpecker would bring down civilization."
Cashtration, n.: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Imagination, n: A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.-- Ambrose Bierce
Petonic (peh ton' ik), adj: One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."-- Joan Crawford
Bathquake, n: The violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water faucet is turned on to a certain point.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
In a church bulletin: "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
Take it from the staff of a five-cat house: A group of cats is a "conceit." They'd like to be a "pride" but that would fool no one.-- Morely Dotes