randomsearchproposestats
24 hits
When I see a jogger I swerve my car towards him and pretend I passed out while I was driving. I miss him at the last minute but I bet it adds some excitement to his workout.
-- Chris Smith
Non sequitur is Latin for "w'uh huh?"
-- Chris Isaak
Wreckless Driving -- You'd think that would be a good thing.
-- Chris Sampson
If stupidity was a crime, honey, you'd get a life sentence.
-- Chris Stephenson
Begin somewhere; you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do.
-- Liz Smith
"We need a new cosmology. New Gods. New Sacraments. Another drink."
-- Patti Smith
Breakfast is the most important meal of the afternoon.
-- Amelia T. Smith
Remember, to be forewarned is to be forearmed, and to be forearmed is to be half octopus.
-- Gene Smith
"Man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road."
-- Alexander Smith
The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".
-- H. Allen Smith
Virtue is more to be feared than vice, because its excesses are not subject to the regulation of conscience.
-- Adam Smith
"...everyone else here is likely as stressed as you are, though much more competent and cynical."

-- Chris Johnson (a.s.r)
I always used to wonder why the pope wore drag.
-- Tom Farrell
Who cares, as long as he looks faaabulous?!
-- Gene Smith
On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.
-- H. Allen Smith ("Let the Crabgrass Grow")
Government of the people
By a corrupt subset of the people
For the people who can afford the corrupt subset of the people.

-- Chris Newport
"Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend."
-- Agatha Christie
May your future be limited only by your dreams.
-- Christa McAuliffe
"Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success."
-- Christopher Lasch
High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.
-- Christopher Morley
Christ: A man who was born at least 5,000 years ahead of his time.
The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
-- Sidney J. Harris
A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.
-- K (MiB)
Nothing is so smiple that it can't be screwed up.
"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
-- Agatha Christie