65 hits
Why serial commas are important: "I dedicate this book to my parents, Ayn Rand and God."
Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
I'm not doing this just to be weird.
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished."-- Goethe
I'm tired of being this pristine little socially acceptable monstrosity
"I sound like a fruitcake sitting here saying all this shit."-- Trent Reznor
"No, 'Eureka' is Greek for 'This bath is too hot.'"-- Dr. Who
This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with RAISINS in it.-- Dorothy Parker
Every four seconds a woman has a baby. Our problem is to find this woman and stop her.
The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.
A thief believes everybody steals.-- E.W. Howe
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
This world doesn't need fixing. It needs changing.
Knowledge is often mistaken for intelligence. This is like mistaking a cup of milk for a cow.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."-- Mark Twain
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.-- Groucho Marx
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir.'-- Joan Rivers
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?-- Will Rogers
This must be morning. I never could get the hang of mornings.
"This space intentionally has nothing but text explaining why this space has nothing but text explaining that this space would otherwise have been left blank, and would otherwise have been left blank."
"All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture"-- Bumper sticker
"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?"-- Jean Kerr
"People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases."-- Mark Twain
"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion."-- Scott Adams
There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.-- Lily Tomlin
"Improvised be damned! I thought of it this morning in my bath and I wish now I hadn't wasted it on this little crowd."-- Winston Churchill
"I wanted to make a little spot in the context of the record where there was this break in the action. In the midst of this buildup of these ever-growing, terrible machines, I just wanted to remember that there is somewhere... else."-- Trent Reznor
"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's this day-to-day living that wears you out."-- Anton Chekhov
The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.-- Mark Twain
Since before the Earth was formed and before the sun burned hot in space, cosmic forces of inexorable power have been working relentlessly toward this moment in space-time -- you receiving this fortune.
To in good days say "look what i've reached"
and on bad days say "why was this done to me"
..is mighty disproportionate.
"I didn't understand this at first, but YOUR CONVINCING USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS HAS MADE IT ALL CLEAR TO ME."-- J. Nairn
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.-- Eden Phillpots
When I look around I think this, this is good enough. And I try to laugh at whatever life brings.
Cuz when I look down I just miss all the good stuff and when I look up I just trip over things.-- Ani Difranco
On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure.-- Oscar Wilde
In a church bulletin: This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical.-- Niels Bohr
A GUI is to a command-line as a TV is to a book.-- Scott Hess
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.-- Oscar Wilde
Strangely enough, this is the past that somebody in the future is longing to go back to.-- Ashleigh Brilliant
"We say that the hour of death is uncertain, but when we say this we think of that hour as situated in an obscure and distant future. It does not occur to us that it can have any connection with the day already begun, or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance".
You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.-- Mary Pickford
Bitch - a cool babe who refuses to change her name.
"A man will call a woman 'bitch' when he can't control her, when she won't do his bidding, when she's not compliant to his needs. I like this in a word."-- Cynthia Heimel
Now, in the Overall Schema Of The Universe, I would imagine that this sort of thing ranks somewhere down around gnat's eyelashes.-- George Madison
"Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think."-- Neils Bohr
"A book should serve as an axe to the ice inside us."-- Franz Kafka
Sodd's Second Law: Sooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur.