randomsearchproposestats
115 hits
"I don't know who Jim Henson is but I've heard he has his hand in a lot of things around here."
-- Kermit the Frog (in 1972)
Headline: Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
-- Mark Twain
To err is human but to really foul things up requires a computer.
(Farmer's Almanac for 1978)
We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.
-- Anais Nin
In case of emergency, speak in cliches.
When in doubt, mumble.
"The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but still 'tis nonsense."
-- Benjamin Franklin
"Be virtuous and you will be eccentric."
-- Mark Twain
"Our representative democracy is not working because the Congress that is supposed to represent the voters does not respond to their needs. I believe the chief reason for this is that it is ruled by a small group of old men."
-- Shirley Chisholm (1924-2005; first black Congresswoman (served 1969-1983, D-NY), first black woman to run for President of the USA (in 1972))
"Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it wont be allowed."
-- Mark Twain
"Familiarity breeds contempt--and children."
-- Mark Twain
"We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles."
-- Mark Twain
"Reality continues to ruin my life."
-- Calvin and Hobbes
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
-- Lily Tomlin
"In America--as elsewhere--free speech is confined to the dead."
-- Mark Twain
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein
Headline: Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
-- Mark Twain
"Virtue has never been as respectable as money."
-- Mark Twain
"When angry, count four; when very angry, swear."
-- Mark Twain
Good art is not what it looks like, but what it does to us.
-- Roy Adzak ("Contemporary Artists," 1977)
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
-- Mark Twain
Not all those who wander are lost.
-- J.R.R. Tolkein
Nobody ever forgets where he buried a hatchet.
-- Kin Hubbard
When in trouble, when in doubt,
run in circles, scream and shout
When in danger, when in doubt,
run in circles, scream and shout.
A genius is just a crazy person with an audience
-- Tim Minchin
"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."
-- Anais Nin
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
-- Lily Tomlin
"Music melts all the separate parts of our bodies together."
-- Anais Nin
The writer is the engineer of the human soul.
-- Joseph Stalin
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
-- Anais Nin
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain
There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
-- Lily Tomlin
The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert's Symphony #9.
-- Erwin Dietrich
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
-- Kin Hubbard
In case of nuclear war, prayer in schools will be okay.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein
"God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyll and Hyde of sacred romance."
-- Mark Twain
The future exists first in the imagination, then in the will, then in reality.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
-- Kin Hubbard
Midnight. Sober and fully dressed. This sucks.
-- Kevin T. Keith
"A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do."
-- Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
-- Ursula K. Le Guin
Take time to come home to yourself everyday.
-- Robin Casarjeam
"People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases."
-- Mark Twain
"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
-- Mark Twain
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language."
-- Mark Twain
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
-- Dick Cavett ("Playboy", 1971)
"Cream rises to the top. So does fat."
-- Kelvin Throop III
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
-- Woody Allen (Without Feathers, 1976)
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-- Mark Twain
"May we all stay crazy and live the bitchin' life!"
-- Robin Williams
'Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy.'
(Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.)
If people behaved like governments, you'd call the cops.
-- Kelvin Throop
"Indifference is isolation. In difference is texture and wonder."
-- Edwin Schlossberg
The important thing is never to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein
I don't know much about morality but I know what I shouldn't like.
-- Tim Minchin
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein
"Bad law is more likely to be supplemented than repealed."
-- Dalin B. Oaks
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!
-- Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)
I'm offering you my body, and you're offering me semantics.
-- Caitlin Bree (Clerks)
Nurture your mind with great thoughts.

-- Benjamin Disraeli
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
-- Leonard Brandwein
"If you're one in a million, there are ten of you in New York."
"Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them."
-- Albert Einstein
"You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus."
-- Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-- Mark Twain
"Linux is free as in Syphilis"
(slashdot)
Only when the last tree has died, and the last river been poisoned, and the last fish been caught, will we realize that we cannot eat money.
-- 19th Century Cree Indian
Some people get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
-- Kin Hubbard
Cat, n: Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer.
Q: How do you keep a moron in suspense?
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-- Albert Einstein
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard
Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.
-- Robert A. Heinlein
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
-- Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)
Cat: Ethereal music wreathed in mystery.
Chef, n.: Any cook who swears in French.
Only a monomaniac gets what we commonly refer to as results.
-- Albert Einstein
"Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone."
-- Mark Twain
I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
-- Mark Twain
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein
"To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was tautology."
-- Mark Twain
Life is too short not to be horny on main
"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."
-- Mark Twain
"It is much easier to be critical than to be correct."
-- Benjamin Disraeli
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
-- Lily Tomlin
Common sense: The collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.
-- Albert Einstein
Moral behavior is survival behavior above the individual level.
-- Robert Heinlein
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
-- Mark Twain
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
-- Lily Tomlin
"Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal."
-- Martin Luther King Jr.
'Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.'
-- Lord Kelvin (President, Royal Society, 1895)
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."
-- Mark Twain
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
-- Mark Twain
"Everything that can be said can be said clearly."
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
-- Lily Tomlin
Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
-- Albert Einstein
Do not mock a pain that you haven�t endured
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Morris dancing is an exercise in fertility.
I have no problem dealing with reality, but as a lifestyle I find it too confining.
-- Lily Tomlin
"For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision."
-- Kelvin Throop III
Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein
[The Bible] has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
-- Mark Twain
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."
-- Mark Twain
A crappie is not a sunfish found in a toilet.
My body is a temple. Virgin sacrifices at 11.
There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.
-- Benjamin Dana
"It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end."
-- Ursula K. Le Guin