I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.-- Woody Allen
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.-- Woody Allen
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.-- Woody Allen
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.-- Woody Allen
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.-- Woody Allen
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."-- Woody Allen
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?-- Woody Allen ("Without Feathers")
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.-- Woody Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.-- Fred Allen
"I became insane, with long instances of horrible sanity."-- Edgar Allen Poe