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Mae West: A plumber's idea of cleopatra.

-- W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
-- W. C. Fields
'A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make.'
-- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough."
-- M. C. Escher