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"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."-- Umberto Eco
Economics exists merely to employ economists.
Fool-proof implies a finite number of predictable fools.
"The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance."-- Robert R. Coveyou
To err is human. And stupid.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
To err is human, to moo bovine.
355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation.
An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.-- Albert Camus
"The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of Earth."-- Dogbert (Dilbert)
"Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers."-- Robert Hummel
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired-- Robert Frost
As far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.-- Bertrand Russell
It is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions.-- Robert Bly
A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.-- Elbert Hubbard
It's a mistake to underestimate the human capacity for self-delusion.-- Robert Park
You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.-- Elbert Hubbard
Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.-- Robert Benchley
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.-- Albert Einstein
Only a monomaniac gets what we commonly refer to as results.-- Albert Einstein
"She who has the biggest sword gets to be the biggest bitch."-- Kymberli Morris
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.-- Albert Einstein
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."-- Herbert Hoover
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.-- Albert Einstein
Common sense: The collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.-- Albert Einstein
"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere."-- G. K. Chesterton
Moral behavior is survival behavior above the individual level.-- Robert Heinlein
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.-- Albert Einstein
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."-- Robert Frost
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.-- Albert Einstein
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together-- Herbert Prochnow
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.-- Elbert Hubbard
Law of diminishing IQ:
The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.
Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind.-- Albert Einstein
"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."-- G. K. Chesterton
Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to extend your middle finger and tell someone to "bite me!"
The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.-- Robert Frost
Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education.-- Bertrand Russell
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.-- Woody Allen
What is inconceivable about the universe is that it is at all conceivable.-- Albert Einstein
"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy."-- Robert Anthony
"A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity."-- Robert Frost
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?-- Albert Einstein
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.-- Albert Einstein
By working faithfully 8 hours a day you may eventually get to be a boss and work 12 hours a day.-- Robert Frost
Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.-- Robert A. Heinlein
The meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us are going to the stars.-- Robert A. Heinlein
Remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
"Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim."-- Bertrand Russell
You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer `yes' without having asked any clear question.-- Albert Camus
Adolescence, n: The stage between puberty and adultery.
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.-- Bertrand Russell
"Here's a horrible thought: You know how dumb the average person is? Well, half the human race is even dumber than that..."
You see, the conditional modifers depend on certain variables like the day of the week, the number of players, chair positions, things like that. [...] There can't be more than a dozen or two that are pertinent.-- Robert Asprin ("Little Myth Marker")
The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa.-- Robert A. Heinlein
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.-- Robert Frost
Cruel men believe in a cruel God and use their belief to excuse their cruelty. Only kindly men believe in a kindly God, and they would be kindly in any case.-- Bertrand Russell
"The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action."-- Frank Herbert
In the end, man is not entirely guilty — he did not start history. Nor is he wholly innocent — he continues it.-- Albert Camus
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-- Albert Einstein
What is wanted is not the will to believe but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite.-- Bertrand Russell
The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling.-- Robert Pirsig
Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit.-- Elbert Hubbard
Speer's 1st Law of Proofreading: The visibility of an error is inversely proportional to the number of times you have looked at it.
"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment."-- Robert Benchley
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."-- Robert A. Heinlein
Lost: gray and white female cat. Answers to electric can opener.
"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."-- Albert Einstein
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.-- Albert Einstein
Innovation is not the product of logical thought, even though the final product is tied to a logical structure.-- Albert Einstein
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.-- Albert Einstein
"Remember the Golden Rule: Those who have the gold make the rules."
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead
Just walk beside me and be my friend-- Albert Camus
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.-- Bertrand Russell
"The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good."-- Robert Graves
"The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists -- that is why they invented hell."-- Bertrand Russell