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Headline: Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Lies, damned lies and user documentation.
"They call him the Sand Spider"
"Why do they call him that?"
"Probably because it sounds scary."
(True Lies)
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
Nothing true is popular, and nothing popular is true.
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
-- Disraeli
The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- Shakespeare
I like life -- it's something to do.
"All the people stared as if we were both quite insane."
-- The Hollies
The principle difference between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives.
"Doing what we please is not freedom, is not liberty; rather, it is the abuse of true liberty and freedom."
-- Cardinal Hayes
True friends stab you in the front.
-- Oscar Wilde
"Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matter compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The first thing to remember about Unix is that nothing is ever spelled correctly."
-- Steve Lidie
"I don't need to be told how to do my job."
"I hope not, because it's by ass on the line and I'm up to my neck in it."
(The Thin Blue Line)
"Those who realize their folly are not true fools"
-- Chuang Tzu
The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train.
I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
-- Sara-Jane Linton
"Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after."
-- Anne Lindbergh
Fool-proof implies a finite number of predictable fools.
So just what are time flies, and why do they like an arrow?
It wasn't lies. It was just bullshit, that's all.
-- Elwood Blues
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
Politics is storytelling. We just pick the one we like best.
Back of tranquility lies conquered unhappiness.
-- David Grayson
"To me happiness, true happiness is when you can really dance with sad."
-- Tori Amos
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein
"The shortest distance between two points is under construction."
-- Noelie Alito
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
-- Woody Allen (Without Feathers, 1976)
Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more.
-- Oscar Wilde
Some people have a way about them that seems to say: 'If I have only one life to live, let me live it as a jerk.'
It's okay. Life doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be lived.
(Dexter)
I'm tired of being this pristine little socially acceptable monstrosity
Too many errors on one line (make fewer).
(Apple MPW C compiler error message)
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
I'm always making a comeback, but nobody ever tells me where I've been.
-- Billie Holiday
"The laws of probability, so true in general, so fallacious in particular."
-- Edward Gibbon
Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing.
-- William Shakespeare
"There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut; a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just plain nuts."
"True friendship is never serene."
-- Marie de Rabutin-Chantal
"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of."
Men are like parking spaces: the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Kisses are like tears. The only ones that are real are the ones you can't hold back.
It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West
True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.
-- David Tyson Gentry
"I don't think you can be a true man until you've humiliated yourself before a woman."
-- David Duchovny
"At the core of all well-founded belief lies belief that is unfounded."
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
-- James Branch Cabell
[The Bible] has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
-- Mark Twain
Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Art may imitate life but life imitates TV.
-- Ani Difranco
Not to expose your true feelings to an adult seems to be instinctive from the age of seven or eight onwards.
-- George Orwell
"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
"I do sound like the Little Mermaid on acid."
-- Tori Amos (Newsweek, 1996)
Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
-- Pablo Picasso
A troll is someone who, finding that no-one likes them, decides to pretend that it's on purpose.
"Shouldn't we be carefully placing these comics in plastic bags?"
"No, we have lives."
(MST3K)
Live like a plot twist
-- Shane Koyczan (Remember How We Forgot)
Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
-- Ambrose Bierce
The great enemy of truth is often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest -- but the myth -- persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
-- John F. Kennedy
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.
The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand.
We listen to reply.
Always behave like a duck: keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.
-- Jacob Braude
"There is a fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'."
-- Dave Barry
We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.
-- Anais Nin
"Legend -- a lie that has attained the dignity of age."
-- H. L. Mencken
When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
-- Jonathan Swift
'Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.'
-- Natalie Goldberg
Sanity is a cozy lie.
-- Susan Sontag
"My work always tried to unite the true with the beautiful; but when I had to choose one or the other, I usually chose the beautiful."
-- Hermann Weyl
You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.
I want to die like my grandfather, peaceful and in my sleep - not screaming like the other people in the car.
Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt
Fuck like you're being filmed
"Bad law is more likely to be supplemented than repealed."
-- Dalin B. Oaks
"Television has lifted the manufacture of banality out of the sphere of handicraft and placed it in that of a major industry."
-- Nathalie Sarraute
Men are like a fine wine.
They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the living shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
-- Lily Tomlin
Bullshit, in contrast to mere nonsense, is something that implies, but does not contain, adequate meaning or truth.
"Women are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button, and you'll be disconnected."
Math Anxiety: An intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching each other at speeds of 60 and 80 mph.
(Cynic's Dictionary)
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
-- Mark Twain
May your future be limited only by your dreams.
-- Christa McAuliffe
Fiction is a way of exploring possibilities present but undreamt of in the living of a single life.
-- Nadine Gordimer ("Selecting my Stories")
"I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue."
-- Richard Nixon
‘You,’ he said, ‘are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.’
-- Emilie Autumn (The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls)
The next time you feel like downloading 'The Little Engine That Could' into a weapon of mass destruction: Don't.
Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.
-- Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner, 1996)
“Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.”
-- Rick Warren
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other 'sins' are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful-- just stupid.)
-- Robert A. Heinlein
Magrat looked up guiltily. She had been deep in conversation with the Fool, although it was the kind of conversation where both parties spend a lot of time looking at their feet and picking at their fingernails. Ninety per cent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarassment.
-- Terry Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters)
"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere."
-- G. K. Chesterton
"I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members."
-- Groucho Marx
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
-- Lucille Ball
Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies.
-- Bill Bulko
Do not go gentle into that good night... Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
-- Dylan Thomas
"I have to find a way of saying the truth without saying it; that is exactly what is literature, after all: clever lies which only secretly say the truth."
-- Simone de Beauvoir
And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light.
"Hmm, pleasant effect" thought God, and flipped it off and on a few times.