randomsearchproposestats
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"If you insist on leaving your fate to the gods, then the gods will repay your weakness by having a grin or two at your expense. Should you fail to pilot your own ship, don't be surprised at what inappropriate port you will find yourself docked."
-- Tom Robbins (Jitterbug Perfume)

God: Santa Claus for adults.
-- Rob Earhart

"A cult is a religion with no political power."
-- Tom Wolfe

If god meant for us to program, he's a sadist.
-- Rob Earhart

The more things change, the more they stay insane.
-- Tom Weller

"Age is a high price to pay for maturity."
-- Tom Stoppard

"It is better to be quotable than to be honest."
-- Tom Stoppard

I have never seen anything fill up a vacuum so fast and still suck.
-- Rob Pike (on X)

In the past, men created witches; now they create mental patients.
-- Tom Szasz

'Be yourself' is about the worst advice you can give to people.
-- Tom Masson

Revolution is a trivial shift in the emphasis of suffering.
-- Tom Stoppard

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs.
-- Tom Lehrer

Sex is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
-- Jim Rosenberg

Take time to come home to yourself everyday.
-- Robin Casarjeam

"Either what you've said is so vague that it's meaningless or I disagree with you completely."
-- Tom Maddox

The goodness of morals depends upon what the morals say, not just the fact that they are morals.
-- Rob Bernardo

To err is human, to purr feline.
-- Robert Byrne

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. Especially Bob Dylan.
-- Jim Rosenberg

To some extent any use of language (and conceptual categories) distorts reality by coercing instances into types.
-- Rob Bernardo

"I'm not confused, I'm just well mixed."
-- Robert Frost

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.
-- Robert Burton

It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl and once by a dying badger.
-- Tom Holt

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
-- Lily Tomlin

"Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers."
-- Robert Hummel

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired
-- Robert Frost

"May we all stay crazy and live the bitchin' life!"
-- Robin Williams

It is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions.
-- Robert Bly

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
-- Lily Tomlin

It's a mistake to underestimate the human capacity for self-delusion.
-- Robert Park

Jason squared his shoulders, drew the Sword of - I couldn't give a toss what it's supposed to be called, he said to himself, I shall call it Freckles - and took one step forward.
-- Tom Holt ("Ye Gods!")

Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.
-- Robert Benchley

Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.
-- Robert A. Heinlein

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
-- Lily Tomlin

'I think,' he said slowly, 'that the only reason people think you can't kill a vampire by shoving its head up its own arse is because nobody's ever actually tried it. What do you think, guys?'
-- Tom Holt ("My Hero")

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
-- Lily Tomlin

The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.
-- Robertson Davies

I once listed all the good things I did over the past year, and then turned them into resolution form and backdated them. That was a good feeling.
-- Robert Fulghum

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
-- Lily Tomlin

Moral behavior is survival behavior above the individual level.
-- Robert Heinlein

I have no problem dealing with reality, but as a lifestyle I find it too confining.
-- Lily Tomlin

"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."
-- Robert Frost

"Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them."
-- Robert Strauss (on conducting)

The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.
-- Tommy Smothers

"I told you I was sick."
(from a tombstone in the U.K.)

If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a "fix" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.
-- Rob Stampfli

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
-- Robert Frost

When I hear someone say they give '110%' to whatever they're doing, it makes me feel good inside, because I know I'm not as big a moron as that person is.
-- Jim Rosenberg

"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy."
-- Robert Anthony

"It's Hong Kong action. Anything you know about physics is just going to hold you back."
-- Robin D. Laws

"A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity."
-- Robert Frost

"The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance."
-- Robert R. Coveyou

By working faithfully 8 hours a day you may eventually get to be a boss and work 12 hours a day.
-- Robert Frost

"She remains endearingly harebrained, keen to bewilder, reluctant to compromise, often hard to stomach, yet periodically magnificent. Just the way, it would seem, that nature intended."
-- Tom Doyle (on Tori Amos; in Q Magazine, January 1996)

Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.
-- Robert A. Heinlein

The meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us are going to the stars.
-- Robert A. Heinlein

There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
-- Lily Tomlin

There was something - difficult to describe, when you've only got shoddy, post-modernist adjectives to work with - cheerfully revential in his manner, as if he had just seen the Messiah and remembered that the Messiah owed him twenty quid.
-- Tom Holt ("My Hero")

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, 'Make me one with everything.'
-- Robin Williams (Bicentennial man)

The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa.
-- Robert A. Heinlein

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
-- Robert Frost

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling.
-- Robert Pirsig

"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment."
-- Robert Benchley

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

'You're a hero. Heroes are supposed to know these things.'
'Get stuffed,' replied the hero.
'You're formulating a plan of campaign, aren't you?'
'Get real. I'm trying to get this pxy chunk of gravel out of my - ah, that's got it. Right, where were we?'

-- Tom Holt ("My Hero")

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

Genies rarely have nightmares, for the same reason that elephants don't usually worry about being trampled underfoot. With the possible exception of bottles, there's nothing in the cosmos large enough or malicious enough to frighten them, or stupid enough to try.
-- Tom Holt ("Djinn Rummy")

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow they may cancel your VISA.

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."
-- Donald Robert Perry Marquis

Oh yeah? You wanna step out of the giant robot and say that again?

"We all know god invented liquor to keep the Irish from ruling the world."
(The Ghost and The Darkness)