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"Whoever ceases to be a student has never been a student."-- George Iles
Donkey: a horse designed by a study team.
Teacher's First Law of Grading Lab Papers: If an experiment has perfect results, the student has cheated.
"Don't apply a Star Trek solution to a Babylon 5 problem."
Lecture, n: Where the notes of the professor become the notes of the student without passing through the mind of either one.
A GUI is to a command-line as a TV is to a book.-- Scott Hess
Practical uses of physics laws:
Student to teacher:
"I determined the momentum of my homework's so accurately that, according to Heisenberg, it could be anywhere in the universe by now..."
Dear Miss ---
I have read about sixteen pages of your manuscript ... I suffered exactly the same treatment at the hands of my teachers who disliked me for my independence and passed over me when they wanted assistants ... keep your manuscript for your sons and daughters, in order that they may derive consolation from it and not give a damn for what their teachers tell them or think of them. ... There is too much education altogether.-- Albert Einstein (To a student)
"Being a graduate student is like becoming all of the Seven Dwarves. In the beginning you're Dopey and Bashful. In the middle, you are usually sick (Sneezy), tired (Sleepy), and irritable (Grumpy). But at the end, they call you Doc, and then you're Happy."
It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.-- Edsger Dijkstra
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
On-line, adj: The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.
The best way to accelerate hardware is at 9.8 m/sec/sec.
Dustin Pons, an American high-school student who attended a Soviet school for three weeks, as quoted in the New York Times: "American teenagers are more socially advanced. For instance, in their free time Soviets would rather read a book or walk in the park or play the piano. American teenagers would probably go out and watch TV, go to a movie, or something more actively inclined." ("The Progressive")
"In California everyone goes to a therapist, is a therapist, or is a therapist going to a therapist."-- Truman Capote