42 hits
After 16 years, MTV has finally completed its de-evolution into the shiny things network.-- The Onion
The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.
The only rose without thorns is friendship.
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
Kisses are like tears. The only ones that are real are the ones you can't hold back.
"...the only place for 63,000 bugs is a rain forest"
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Politics is storytelling. We just pick the one we like best.
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize. (Steel Magnolias)
Patience is something you admire greatly in the driver behind you but not in the one ahead of you.
"In all our searching, the only thing we found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other" (Contact)
pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.-- Mae West.
Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
"The way I play is a bit torturous but... it's the only way I know how to play."-- Tori Amos
"The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions."-- Susan Sontag
The only good strategy is one that no one else understands.-- Tracy Kidder
Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A: Because it was on the other side.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.-- Alfred Kinsey
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.-- Steven Wright
The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.-- Tommy Smothers
Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies.-- Bill Bulko
"Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest."-- Neil Kinnock
"A sense of humor is the only thing that keeps intelligent people from hanging themselves."-- Voltaire
If it wasn't for the optimist the pessimist would never know how happy he isn't.
A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. A theologian is the one who finds it.
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion- several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight.-- Mark Twain
Proof by omission: The reader may easily supply the details. The other 253 cases are analogous.
Psychiatrists say that one out of four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, chances are you're the one.
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.-- Fred Allen
"We are at times too ready to believe that the present is the only possible state of things."-- Marcel Proust
The music is the magic carpet that the other things take naps on.-- Tori Amos
"I think all the boys that write the screaming stuff would write the best love songs... because they have the most to hide. The guys that are in the most pain are usually the ones with the biggest hearts."-- Tori Amos