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I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
-- Solomon Short

What is the nature of God? His nature is entirely dependent upon the age or culture that has reinvented him.
-- Solomon Skink

Life is too short not to be horny on main

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

Sign on an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts"

May a Misguided Platypus lay its Eggs in your Jockey Shorts.

PMS, n: the short period of time when women act like men do all the time.