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'It will be happened; it shall be going to be happening; it will be was an event that could will have been taken place in the future'
-- Rimmer trying to explain timetravel (Red Dwarf, "Future Echoes")

Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Bagdikian's Observation:
Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew Passion' on a ukelele.