Quotes

83 hits

Banectomy, n: The removal of bruises on a banana.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Nerb, n: a noun used as a verb. For example: ''They didn't language the proclamation very well''. nerb, nerbing, nerbed v. the act of using nouns as verbs in a sentence.
-- Rich Hill

Zipcuffed, adj: To be trapped in one's trousers by a faulty zipper.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Sniglet, n: Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Choconiverous, adj: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Spirtle, n: The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Pigslice, n: The last unclaimed piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Spagmumps, n: Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Elbonics, n: The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Magnocartic, adj: Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Petonic (peh ton' ik), adj: One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Aquadextrous, adj: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Bathquake, n: The violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water faucet is turned on to a certain point.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

You aren't appealing to my sense of voyeurism.
-- Stevie Ulrich

Pedaeration, n: Achieving the perfect body heat by having one leg under the sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Circumpopulate (sur kum pop' yew layt'), v: To finish off a popsicle "laterally" because the "frontal" approach causes one to gag.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Lactomangulation - n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Table Snorkeling (tay' bul snawrk' ling), n: Frantic gesticulations when one bites into hot food and has to take in air to cool it off.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Thermalophobia (thur muh lo fo' be uh), n: The fear when showering that someone will sneak in, flush the toilet, and scald you to death.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

I love stress because it's a whole lot better than depression.
-- Drew Olbrich

The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
-- Rich Kulawiec

The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert's Symphony #9.
-- Erwin Dietrich

"We have art in order not to die of the truth."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Squanderprint (skwan' duhr print), n: Directions that try to make you use up a product faster than you normally would. (Ex.: Apply shampoo. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.)
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Anticiparcellate (an ti si par' sel ate), v: Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not too appear too anxious.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

"In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

I need to get a life. I have a neat counselor though, which is, I guess a convenient substitute.
-- Stevie Ulrich

"In America sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it is a fact."
-- Marlene Dietrich

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Solutions are not the answer."
-- Richard Nixon

Real love stories never have endings.
-- Richard Bach

Many a man fails to become a thinker for the sole reason that his memory is too good.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Christianity poisoned Eros, but Eros did not die, it merely degenerated into a vice.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n: The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

I don't understand men, women, sheep, grass, or computers. Understanding is for those too weak to handle confusion.
-- Stevie Ulrich

"Mystical explanations are considered deep. The truth is that they are not even superficial."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Insanity is the exception in individuals. In groups, parties, people, and times, it is the rule.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as moral indignation, which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue.
-- Erich Fromm

Absence of proof is not proof of absence.
-- Michael Crichton

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche (On Reading and Writing)

"I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue."
-- Richard Nixon

"What are our schools for if not indoctrination against Communism?"
-- Richard Nixon

I listen so that I may decipher the mystery of myself and become more whole.
-- Richard Moss

The world, especially for the middle and upper classes, is much more fool-proof then it used to be. A fool-proof environment causes an increase in the number of fools.
-- Hillel Gazit

"Television is to news as bumperstickers are to philosophy."
-- Richard M. Nixon

"All dogmas perish the thinking mind, especially ones you agree with."
-- Adam Richardson

Great Lover, n: A man who can breathe through his ears.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
-- Rich Cook

There's too much beauty upon this earth for lonely men to bear.
-- Richard Le Gallienne

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
-- Winston Churchill

The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
-- Eden Phillpots

"Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones."
-- Phillips Brooks

A language is a dialect with an army and a navy.
-- Max Weinreich

"A child prodigy is one with highly imaginative parents."

There are things so deeply personal that they can be revealed only to strangers.
-- Richard Rodriguez

"This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read."
-- Winston Churchill

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.
-- Richard Feynman

I do not like the man: he has all of the virtues I detest and none of the vices I admire.
-- Winston Churchill

With a rubber duck, one's never alone.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

"The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are."
-- Mark Twain

"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."
-- Richard Harkness

When you have to deal with the god-awful instruction set of the X86, you may as well get paid.
-- ECE/CS 552 Professor Mark Hill (explaining why we would be studying the MIPS architecture instead.)

"If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love."
-- Thich Nhat Hanh

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

For practical purposes we have agreed that sanity consists in sharing the hallucinations of our neighbors.
-- Evelyn Underhill

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
-- Winston Churchill

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.
-- Samuel Beckett

[A] thing is symmetrical if there is something we can do to it so that after we have done it, it looks the same as it did before.
-- Richard Feynman

"Improvised be damned! I thought of it this morning in my bath and I wish now I hadn't wasted it on this little crowd."
-- Winston Churchill

"My work is much richer than my life."
-- Tori Amos

"To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day."

-- Winston Churchill

When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
-- Steve Haflich (alt.lang.design)

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
-- Emo Phillips

God, as some cynic has said, is always on the side which has the best football coach.
-- Heywood Broun

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

"I want a car. Chicks dig the car."
"This is why Superman works alone."
-- Richard Grayson and Bruce Wayne (Batman & Robin)

Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are software.
-- Richard P. Brennan

I trusted him like a brother -- which is to say, not at all.

"The Hitch Hiker's Guide has not been an opera. It has however been a tapestry, if you count a woven bath towel as a tapestry."
-- Douglas Adams

There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are `Why are people born?', `Why do they die?', `Why do they spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?'
(The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Say what you like about me, but sometimes I wish that I were really rich and didn't have to work. And also handsome.
-- Dave George