Quotes

19 hits

It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.
(Oxford University Press)

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.
-- Samuel Beckett

Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.
-- Irving Fisher (Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.)

I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry.
Hence University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Jesus said to them, "Who do you say that I am?"
They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the kerygma of which we find the ultimate meaning in our interpersonal relationships."
And Jesus said, "What?"
-- graffiti at St. John's University, New York (A Year of Graffiti, Nigel Rees, Great Britain, 1983)

Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed a cat.
(Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London)

Unseen University had never admitted women, muttering something about problems with the plumbing, but the real reason was an unspoken dread that if women were allowed to mess around with magic they would probably be embarrassingly good at it.
-- Terry Pratchett

The Creation of the Universe was made possible by a grant from Texas Instruments.
(Credits, "The Creation of the Universe" (A PBS scientific documentary))

Humor is just another defense against the universe
-- Mel Brooks

Why does the universe go to all the bother of existing?
-- Stephen Hawking

In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
-- Carl Sagan

"It's gone wrong."
Professor George Eisenkopf, resident nuclear genius at the University of Chicopee Falls, Iowa, and the State Department's leading authority on civilian atomic power, scratched his nose with the plastic coffee-stirrer he'd been given on the plane.
"It isn't working properly," he added, in case there were any laymen present.
-- Tom Holt ("Odds and Gods")

Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch

The two most common elements in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
-- Harlan Ellison

A man said to the universe, "Sir, I exist."
"However," replied the universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."
-- Stephan Crane ("War is Kind," 1899)

What is inconceivable about the universe is that it is at all conceivable.
-- Albert Einstein

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
-- Eden Phillpots