randomsearchproposestats
71 hits
"I thought they would be creepy, mid-western geeks who had probably done a Gloria Estefan B-side four years ago and all they wanted was some novelty Scottish bagpipe song."
-- Shirley Manson (On meeting Butch, Duke and Steve for the first time)
Conservative: a man who believes nothing should be done for the first time.
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
"The first thing to remember about Unix is that nothing is ever spelled correctly."
-- Steve Lidie
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
-- T.S. Eliot
Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.
"The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender."
-- Emil Ludwig
Habit, n: A shackle for the free.
-- Ambrose Bierce
"The first 80% of software development is the easy part. The hard part is the next 80%"
Birth, n: The first and direst of all disasters.
-- Ambrose Bierce
We shame outselves for the sake of simplicity.
If you sat a monkey down in front of a keyboard, the first thing typed would be a UNIX command.
-- Bill Lye
"People aren’t against you; they are for themselves."
"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."
-- Mark Twain
Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
-- Morticia Adams
Piety, n: Reverence for the Supreme Being, based on His supposed resemblance to man.
Fight for the right to pretend to work.
(graffiti, in Marylebone)
"If houses were built the way software is built,
the first woodpecker would bring down civilization."
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.
-- Steve Wozniak
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. But you know most of them didn't get the joke in the first place, the lying weasels.
-- Wade Kwon
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
-- Don Marquis
"Laws are made for us; we are not made for the laws.
-- William Milonoff
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
-- Steve Haflich (alt.lang.design)
"The computer world is like a great big toy store. But all the toys are broken."
-- Steve Witham
If common sense was so common then everyone would have it.
-- Steve Giammarco
I think I'm losing it: the first time I saw this I thought he wrote: "don't attack orbital space ducks", and that caught my attention momentarily.
-- sweet@dns.city-net.com (about "don't attack orbital space docks")
If it wasn't for the optimist the pessimist would never know how happy he isn't.
The first casualty when war comes is truth.
-- Hiram Johnson (U.S. Senate, 1917)
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
-- Abbie Hoffman
Today was a really, really great day, on the "aaagh fuck me!" scale.
-- Steve VanDevender
Practical or mean and sneaky? - getting a permanent heart tatoo on your arm and getting three-day temporary tatoos for the names.
I'll say it again for the logic impaired.
-- Larry Wall
"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
-- Michael Sinz
Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
-- A. H. Weiler
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
Catapult: device for throwing cats long distances.
What a man knows at fifty that he didn't know at twenty is, for the most part, incommunicable.
-- Adlai Stevenson
"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."
-- Cyril Connolly
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow
Theists think all gods but theirs are false. Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.
-- Richard Feynman
What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
-- Kierkegaard
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
-- Steven Wright
The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.
-- Ambassador Kosh
If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.
-- Mae West
"Homo sapiens, the first truly free species, is about to decommission natural selection, the force that made us.... Soon we must look deep within ourselves and decide what we wish to become."
-- Edward O. Wilson
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright
"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use."
-- Kierkegaard
To err is human. And stupid.
Gina: "Isn't it customary for the suspect to leave the scene of the crime?"
Debra: "Definitely an amateur"
(Empire Records)
Notice in a hotel lobby in Bucharest:
"The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling.
-- Robert Pirsig
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
-- Steven Wright
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
-- Terry Pratchett
Be careful of the closeness of the signs lunch and lesbian. If you sign, "I'm hungry, let's eat lesbians", you should be sure that's what you meant.
-- Steve Eastman
Arnold's First Law of Documentation
If it should exist, it doesn't.

Arnold's Second Law of Documentation
If it does exist, it's out of date.

Arnold's Third Law of Documentation
Only useless documentation transcends the first two laws.

"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
-- Woody Allen
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.
-- Brian Kernighan
The future exists first in the imagination, then in the will, then in reality.
"Conviction is a luxury for those on the sidelines."
There aren't enough days in the weekend.
-- Steven Wright
Three Accounts for the Super-users in the sky,
Seven for the Operators in their halls of fame,
Nine for Ordinary Users doomed to crie,
One for the Illegal Cracker with his evil game
In the Domains of Internet where the data lie.
One Account to rule them all, One Account to watch them,
One Account to make them all and in the network bind them
In the Domains of Internet where the data lie.
Selfish, adj.: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
-- Ambrose Bierce
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize there is a very close resemblance to the first.
-- Ronald Reagan
There are three sorts of despots. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the body. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the soul. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the soul and body alike. The first is called the Prince. The second is called the Pope. The third is called the People.
-- Oscar Wilde
Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff.
-- Peter de Vries
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.
-- Helen Keller
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
-- Steven Wright
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-- Steven Wright