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"We are all born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society."
-- Miss Manners (Judith Martin)
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
"It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help."
-- Judith Martin (Miss Manners)
Q. What do I say when introduced to a homosexual "couple"?
A. "How do you do? How do you do?"
("Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior")
Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy
Manners are one of the truly lost causes.
-- John Simon
Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.
Education, then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great machinery.
-- Horace Mann
There's many a best seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor
Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.
-- Margaret Lee Runbeck
Where all men think alike, no one thinks very much.
-- Walter Lippmann
There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.
("Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior")
In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
-- J. von Neumann
Q. What's the difference between an aerobics instructor and a well-mannered professional torturer?
A. The torturer would apologize first.
There was something - difficult to describe, when you've only got shoddy, post-modernist adjectives to work with - cheerfully revential in his manner, as if he had just seen the Messiah and remembered that the Messiah owed him twenty quid.
-- Tom Holt ("My Hero")