Quotes

53 hits

Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-- Douglas Adams

With a rubber duck, one's never alone.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
-- Morticia Adams

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."
-- Douglas Adams

"It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'as pretty as an airport' exist."
-- Douglas Adams

"The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks."
-- Douglas Adams (Dirk Gently)

"Abuse of words has been the great instrument of sophistry and chicanery, of party, faction, and division of society."
-- John Adams

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Watching these guys trying to be wireheads is like watching old people fuck
-- Mike Belt

"The Hitch Hiker's Guide has not been an opera. It has however been a tapestry, if you count a woven bath towel as a tapestry."
-- Douglas Adams

We're the technical experts. We were hired so that management could ignore our recommendations and tell us how to do our jobs.
-- Mike Andrews (a.s.r.)

Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts.

-- Henry Brooks Adams

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

`Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.'
(Arthur experiencing the improbability drive at work)
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
-- Douglas Adams

"All dogmas perish the thinking mind, especially ones you agree with."
-- Adam Richardson

Baby-sitter, n: A teenager acting like an adult, while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

A man without God is like a fish without a skateboard.

Those who say they 'sleep like a baby' haven't got one.

`Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.'

`Very deep,' said Arthur, `you should send that in to the 'Reader's Digest'. They've got a page for people like you.'
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion."
-- Scott Adams

Virtue is more to be feared than vice, because its excesses are not subject to the regulation of conscience.
-- Adam Smith

So just what are time flies, and why do they like an arrow?

I trusted him like a brother -- which is to say, not at all.

"I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course - the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end."
-- Douglas Adams

"Eddies," said Ford, "in the space-time continuum."
"Ah," nodded Arthur, "Is he? Is he?"
(Arthur failing in his first lesson of galactic physics in four years)
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

"You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?"
"Really?" said Arthur. "No I didn't. For what offense?"
Trillian frowned. "What do you mean, offense?"
"I see."
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Organized Religion is like Organized Crime; it preys on peoples' weakness, generates huge profits for its operators, and is almost impossible to eradicate.
-- Mike Hermann

"Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see."
-- Douglas Adams (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency)

Life is like a dog-sled team; If you ain't the lead dog, the scene never changes.

"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of."

Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.
-- Douglas Adams (Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Anything invented before your fifteenth birthday is the order of nature. That's how it should be. Anything invented between your 15th and 35th birthday is new and exciting, and you might get a career there. Anything invented after that day, however, is against nature and should be prohibited.
-- Douglas Adams

"Life is like an overlong drama through which we sit being nagged by the vague memories of having read the reviews."
-- John Updike

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexeplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio scripts)

You can't make a program without breaking some egos.

'Anything that happens, happens'
'Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.'
'Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.'
'It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.'
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

I like life -- it's something to do.

Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.

...do it again.
-- Morticia Addams

America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned, and the scum floats to the top.

You think Oedipus had a problem--Adam was Eve's mother.

Live like a plot twist
-- Shane Koyczan (Remember How We Forgot)

I have never seen anything fill up a vacuum so fast and still suck.
-- Rob Pike (on X)

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
-- Terry Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters)

My notion of a husband at forty is that a woman should be able to change him, like a bank note, for two twenties.

"I sound like a fruitcake sitting here saying all this shit."
-- Trent Reznor