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"The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs."
-- Joseph Weizenbaum

The writer is the engineer of the human soul.
-- Joseph Stalin

"The drug user drowns in the same pool mystics swim in."
-- Joseph Campbell

Vegetarians are people who cannot hear tomatos screaming.
-- Joseph Campbell

In art, as in no other form of endeavor, there is meaning apart from success.
-- Joseph Conrad

"Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealing with men."
-- Joseph Conrad

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
-- Andy Tanenbaum

I like Frenchmen very much, because even when they insult you they do it so nicely.
-- Josephine Baker

"I support comp.lang.awk for a few reasons: [...] It is very satisfying to be able to disagree with Tim Pierce."
-- Janet Rosenbaum

The UNIX system has a command, 'nice', which allows a user to voluntarily reduce the priority of his process, in order to be nice to other users. Nobody ever uses it.
-- Andy Tanenbaum