21 hits
[American Family Association Targets MTV] Thank God we know we're right; thank God we know we possess the Truth; thank God we know the proper values to give to our children, so that we need not teach them to think for themselves; thank God we have passed beyond the stage of needing to ask questions; thank God we have been given the Vision of the perfect world; thank God we have a decision procedure for telling the difference between Gospel hymns and rock video music. I hope God has a sense of humour, and I hope She doesn't give up on us for following our silly, narrow-minded, self-important ways.-- Joel Parthemore
The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything. Oops. No, that's not what I meant to say.-- Joel Spolsky
What part of "AWW C'MON, PLEASE??" don't you understand? (T-Shirt)
"The first 80% of software development is the easy part. The hard part is the next 80%"
The chief product of an automated society is a widespread and deepening sense of boredom.-- Cyril Parkinson
If you're not part of the freaks, you're part of the boredom.-- Perry Farrell
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.-- Steven Wright
The BEST part of waking up? Hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep.
Pedestrian, n: The variable (and audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.
"For some part, genius is but an embellishment on focus"
Every time I have to pipe something into awk I get this mental picture of a big fat seagull with stdin connected at the wrong end.-- Arther van der Harg (a.s.r.)
"Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road."-- Stewart Brand
"I am not part of the problem; I am a Republican."-- Dan Quayle
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.-- Samuel Johnson
"Anger is natural. It's part of the force. You just have to learn to hang out with it."-- Tori Amos
It is always easy to see both sides of an issue we are not particularly concerned about.
"It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."-- Mark Twain
"Music melts all the separate parts of our bodies together."-- Anais Nin
The biblical concepts of sin and salvation are an integral part of Christian doctrine. Christianity first creates a problem (sin) and then offers a "solution" (salvation). This is not unlike the protection racket; you either buy "protection"--or else!"-- Domald Morgan
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.
The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following. The party of the first part shall, with or without elevation at his or her option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part and rotate the party of the second part in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being tendered non-negotiable. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part becomes fully detached from the receptacle, the party of the first part shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part in a manner consistent with all relevant and applicable local, state and federal statutes. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part shall have the option of beginning installation. Aforesaid installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable. The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part, by any or all agents authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the Partnership.