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"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
-- Joan Crawford

I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir.'
-- Joan Rivers

"I've never had a humble opinion. If you've got an opinion, why be humble about it?"
-- Joan Baez

A man said to the universe, "Sir, I exist."
"However," replied the universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

-- Stephan Crane ("War is Kind," 1899)