randomsearchproposestats
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You have to understand art all by yourself. It's not like television, where you look at it and it explains to you what you are looking at.
-- Jim Halat

Sex is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
-- Jim Rosenberg

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. Especially Bob Dylan.
-- Jim Rosenberg

Banectomy, n: The removal of bruises on a banana.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

We are the people our parents warned us about.
-- Jimmy Buffett

When I hear someone say they give '110%' to whatever they're doing, it makes me feel good inside, because I know I'm not as big a moron as that person is.
-- Jim Rosenberg

Zipcuffed, adj: To be trapped in one's trousers by a faulty zipper.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Sniglet, n: Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Perpetual motion, illustrated: Try putting a slinky on an escalator.

Choconiverous, adj: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Spirtle, n: The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Pigslice, n: The last unclaimed piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Cops and reporters are much alike. Both are absolutely dedicated to doing the job at hand, regardless of obstacles. And both, deep down, really believe the rules don't apply to them.
-- Jim Barlow (Houston Chronicle)

Spagmumps, n: Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Elbonics, n: The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")