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Most of us ask for advice when we know the answer but we want a different one.
-- Ivern Ball

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
-- Lucille Ball

I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir.'
-- Joan Rivers

"I've never had a humble opinion. If you've got an opinion, why be humble about it?"
-- Joan Baez