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Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel.
-- Ewald Nyquist

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
-- George Wald

Whenever you fall, pick something up.
-- Oswald Avery

The best things in life aren't things.
-- Art Buchwald

Fame is proof that people are gullible.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson