Quotes

111 hits

There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as moral indignation, which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue.
-- Erich Fromm

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
-- Rich Kulawiec

Spirtle, n: The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

The intensity comes from meaning, not from extremes.

Banectomy, n: The removal of bruises on a banana.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

You aren't appealing to my sense of voyeurism.
-- Stevie Ulrich

I love stress because it's a whole lot better than depression.
-- Drew Olbrich

"In America sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it is a fact."
-- Marlene Dietrich

Zipcuffed, adj: To be trapped in one's trousers by a faulty zipper.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

Petonic (peh ton' ik), adj: One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Sniglet, n: Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.

Choconiverous, adj: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert's Symphony #9.
-- Erwin Dietrich

"We have art in order not to die of the truth."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Pigslice, n: The last unclaimed piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Spagmumps, n: Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

"I told you I was sick."
(from a tombstone in the U.K.)

Elbonics, n: The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Magnocartic, adj: Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

"In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

I need to get a life. I have a neat counselor though, which is, I guess a convenient substitute.
-- Stevie Ulrich

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Aquadextrous, adj: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Solutions are not the answer."
-- Richard Nixon

Headline: Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

Real love stories never have endings.
-- Richard Bach

"We all know god invented liquor to keep the Irish from ruling the world."
(The Ghost and The Darkness)

Bathquake, n: The violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water faucet is turned on to a certain point.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."
-- Richard Harkness

Many a man fails to become a thinker for the sole reason that his memory is too good.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Christianity poisoned Eros, but Eros did not die, it merely degenerated into a vice.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

In a cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."

Pedaeration, n: Achieving the perfect body heat by having one leg under the sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Majority, n: That quality that distinguishes a crime from a law.

I don't understand men, women, sheep, grass, or computers. Understanding is for those too weak to handle confusion.
-- Stevie Ulrich

One can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.

"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.

"Mystical explanations are considered deep. The truth is that they are not even superficial."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Circumpopulate (sur kum pop' yew layt'), v: To finish off a popsicle "laterally" because the "frontal" approach causes one to gag.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Insanity is the exception in individuals. In groups, parties, people, and times, it is the rule.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Lactomangulation - n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Table Snorkeling (tay' bul snawrk' ling), n: Frantic gesticulations when one bites into hot food and has to take in air to cool it off.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Thermalophobia (thur muh lo fo' be uh), n: The fear when showering that someone will sneak in, flush the toilet, and scald you to death.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

"Grand ennui" sounds so much nicer than "annoyance."
-- Eric P. Scott

Sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche (On Reading and Writing)

Absence of proof is not proof of absence.
-- Michael Crichton

Seminars, n.: From `semi' and `arse', hence, any half-assed discussion.

Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
-- Eric Hoffer

Any sufficiently optimistic statement is indistinguishable from sarcasm.

It is a good thing to in your mind be able to seperate the artist from the art.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-- Erica Jong

Nerb, n: a noun used as a verb. For example: ''They didn't language the proclamation very well''. nerb, nerbing, nerbed v. the act of using nouns as verbs in a sentence.
-- Rich Hill

"Microsoft is not the problem. Microsoft is the symptom."
-- Eric S. Raymond

Accountant - someone who can put two and two together and make a living from it.

"I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue."
-- Richard Nixon

Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.

Squanderprint (skwan' duhr print), n: Directions that try to make you use up a product faster than you normally would. (Ex.: Apply shampoo. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.)
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Anticiparcellate (an ti si par' sel ate), v: Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not too appear too anxious.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Progress, n: The process through which the Internet has evolved from smart people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals.

"When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other."
-- Eric Hoffer

"What are our schools for if not indoctrination against Communism?"
-- Richard Nixon

Never run from anything immortal. It only attracts their attention.
(The Last Unicorn)

I listen so that I may decipher the mystery of myself and become more whole.
-- Richard Moss

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: No one to blame.
-- Erica Jong

A sufficiently optimistic statement is indistinguishable from social sycophancy.

"Television is to news as bumperstickers are to philosophy."
-- Richard M. Nixon

"When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored."
-- Eric Hoffer

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Intuition comes from experience, that experience comes from failure, and that failure comes from trying.
-- Paul Snively (Lambda the Ultimate weblog)

"The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience."

"All dogmas perish the thinking mind, especially ones you agree with."
-- Adam Richardson

Stay away from needle drugs. Richard Nixon is the only dope worth shooting.
-- Abbie Hoffman ("Steal this Book")

"I'm not confused, I'm just well mixed."
-- Robert Frost

Maybe you can keep me from ever being happy, but you're not gonna stop me from having fun.
-- Ani Difranco

"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
-- Eric Hoffer

Bozone, n: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.

The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
(Steel Magnolias)

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
-- Rich Cook

Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.
-- Carl Jung

There's too much beauty upon this earth for lonely men to bear.
-- Richard Le Gallienne

Ad from newspaper:
'Dinner Special--Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.'

"A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity."
-- Robert Frost

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb

A language is a dialect with an army and a navy.
-- Max Weinreich

There are things so deeply personal that they can be revealed only to strangers.
-- Richard Rodriguez

"I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers."
-- Kahlil Gibran

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
-- Woody Allen

There's no problem so large it can't be solved by killing the user off, deleting their files, closing their account and reporting their REAL earnings to the IRS.
-- Bastard Operator From Hell

"The bigger the information media, the less courage and freedom they allow. Bigness means weakness."
-- Eric Sevareid

Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n: The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Virtue does not always demand a heavy sacrifice -- only the willingness to make it when necessary.
-- Frederick Dunn

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.
-- Richard Feynman

You're probably the sort who would have Dorothy arrested for throwing water on the Wicked Witch of the West.
-- Eric Holeman

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired
-- Robert Frost

"The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are."
-- Mark Twain

"Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all, because the mind is never new, fresh, innocent."

On applause: They named it Ovation from the Latin ovis, a sheep.
-- Plutarch

That's, uh, quite a dress you almost have on.
(An American in Paris)

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

"If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love."
-- Thich Nhat Hanh

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

[Disk] quotas are evil; they discourage users from learning how their greed impacts others. We're not here to parent users, we just provide a model electronic ecosystem. If they deplete their resources, they become extinct. A very simple concept.
-- Eric P. Scott

America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.
-- Georges Clemenceau (1 December 1945)

"Picture the sun as the origin of two intersecting 6-dimensional hyperplanes from which we can deduce a certain transformational sequence which gives us the terminal velocity of a rubber duck ..."

In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
-- Carl Sagan