89 hits
Tell you what. When the vast majority of straight folks in this country learn how to have a private life privately, learn how to "just be themselves without telling it to everybody", why then I'll try to learn from them how to do the same.-- Elaine May
It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.-- Sunshine magazine
Ass, n: The masculine of "lass".
If I have seen further than other men, it is by stepping on their glasses.-- Michael Swaine
"The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions."-- Maurice Chapelain
Headline: Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, let the machine get it.
"Everyone makes mistakes. It is what you do afterwards that counts."
"There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut; a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just plain nuts."
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice.-- R. D. Laing
we make happen the stuff we fear will happen
"If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities."-- Maya Angelou
Hanlon's Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Education, then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great machinery.-- Horace Mann
God must love assholes--she made so many of them.
Guru, n: A computer owner who can read the manual.
"I may be crazy.
But I can fly."
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train.
'It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.'-- Jackie Mason
Now, in the Overall Schema Of The Universe, I would imagine that this sort of thing ranks somewhere down around gnat's eyelashes.-- George Madison
"Love makes you do the wacky"-- Willow
A little knowledge may be a dangerous thing, but a little carnal knowledge rules.-- Wade Kwon
Life may seem unfair, but Life never cheats the way people do.-- Stewart Kramer
Funny. All the wireless people seem to be the marionettes.
"Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it wont be allowed."-- Mark Twain
Maybe that explains Perl: Larry Wall let a kitten have its way with the bash, sed, and expr doc, then implemented the result.-- Jay Maynard
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow they may cancel your VISA.
If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why practice?
It is better to waste one's youth, than to do nothing at all with it.-- Courteline
Computers save man a lot of guesswork, but then, so do bikini's.
Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?-- Ernest Gaines III
Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains arouse me.
I get my kicks above the .sigline, Sunshine
Given the pace of technology, I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside. (Calvin & Hobbes)
Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but so would an 80 pound carrot.
"To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation."-- St. Augustine
"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not."-- H.L. Mencken
feet and stones may break my bones, but metrics are more comprehensive
"To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was tautology."-- Mark Twain
You ain't inebriated if you can still spell it.
"Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones."-- Phillips Brooks
"Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell."
Machine learning, n: Automation of your biases
Before Xerox, five carbons were the maximum extension of anybody's ego.
Love thine enemies... it really pisses them off.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence.-- Napoleon Bonaparte
We may begin to see reality differently simply because the computer ... provides a different angle on reality.-- Heinz Pagels
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Cats are famously umoved by others,
each cat its own king of its own land.
Socialists we be called by others,
a bad word I've heard when uttered by men.-- Maggie Mae Fish
Be good to your friends, or they may develop psychokinetic powers and destroy Tokyo.
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.-- Mark Twain
I like Frenchmen very much, because even when they insult you they do it so nicely.-- Josephine Baker
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.-- Helen Keller
Democracy is the form of government where everyone gets what the majority deserves.
You don't stick a knife in a man's back nine inches and then pull it out six inches and say you are making progress.-- Malcolm X
May a Misguided Platypus lay its Eggs in your Jockey Shorts.
I may believe that Buddhism is wrong and that all Buddhists will inevitably burn in hell. I may believe that black people are inferior to white people. I may hold those beliefs quite strongly. I may believe that any other position is absolutely immoral and a majority of the populace may well agree with me. But the extent to which we succeed in encoding those beliefs into our legal and social structure is the extent to which we are not a free society.-- Doretta Schrock
I have had solemnly explained to me the audible differences between digital data (S/PDIF) carried over coax and carried over optical (coax is bassier, apparently).
-- Tag
There's an argument to be made that beneath every cynic there is a frustrated romantic. (Fringe)
Proof by omission: The reader may easily supply the details. The other 253 cases are analogous.
Luxury is the main cause of boredom; Boredom is a main cause of extreme thoughts, eg. violence.
War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1 1/2 tons. (Popular Mechanics, March 1949)
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.-- Thomas Jones
"I really don't see anything romantic in proposing. It is very romantic to be in love. But there is nothing romantic about a definite proposal. Why, one may be accepted. One usually is, I believe. Then the excitement is all over."-- Oscar Wilde (The Importance of Being Earnest)
Work is a fine thing if it doesn't take too much of your spare time.
A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
"There is a fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'."-- Dave Barry
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead
Just walk beside me and be my friend-- Albert Camus
The music is the magic carpet that the other things take naps on.-- Tori Amos
Sign in a Nairobi restaurant:
"Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager."