51 hits
Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.-- Ed Howe
A thief believes everybody steals.-- E.W. Howe
It's not how fast you run, or how high you jump. It's how well you bounce.
Advisor: The guy who told you how to screw up.
Q: How do you keep a moron in suspense?
Power corrupts, but we need electricity.
"Geologists know how to make the bedrock."
Descartes described how his father taught him how to swim by throwing him into the Seine: "I sink, therefore I swam."
To learn who rules over you, find out who you are not allowed to criticize
Know thyself. If you need help, call the C.I.A.
"Me, getting smart with you? How would you know?"
If God had meant for us to go around naked we would have been born that way.
"It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I choose to accept."-- Calvin and Hobbes
Donkey: a horse designed by a study team.
I trusted him like a brother -- which is to say, not at all.
Headline: Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
"I don't need to be told how to do my job."
"I hope not, because it's by ass on the line and I'm up to my neck in it." (The Thin Blue Line)
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
Headline: Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Become a Librarian."
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
You're probably the sort who would have Dorothy arrested for throwing water on the Wicked Witch of the West.-- Eric Holeman
Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in.-- Amy Lowell
A poet is someone who is astonished by everything.
"No, 'Eureka' is Greek for 'This bath is too hot.'"-- Dr. Who
Part of the difference of learning something by interest or necessity is how we file it, with what urgency, and how we think of it when we think of it again.
God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.-- Homer Simpson
Ask a man which way he is going to vote and he will probably tell you. Ask him however why and vagueness is all.-- Bernard Levin
"If we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time."-- Edith Wharton
"All the people stared as if we were both quite insane."-- The Hollies
A leading authority is someone lucky who guessed right.
If it wasn't for the optimist the pessimist would never know how happy he isn't.
The poor little wooden boy could only sit helplessly and watch while the old puppet maker, his father, whom he had just told how a nice fairy had turned him into a living boy, worked on a life-sized puppet of a young woman with big hooters.
"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."-- Groucho Marx
A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.-- Edward Abbey
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.-- Alfred Hitchcock
Few people are successful unless a lot of other people want them to be.-- Charles Brower
If the pen is mightier than the sword then how can actions speak louder than words?
find / -name '*your_base*' -exec chown us.us {} \;
"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."-- Richard Harkness
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.-- Eric Hoffer
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
Power doesn't always corrupt. Power always reveals. When you have enough power to do what you always wanted to do, then you see what the guy always wanted to do.