52 hits
"The Hindenburg crash had 62 survivors and 35 fatalities. Of the 35 deaths, 27 resulting from jumping from the airship. Many of the remaining 8 deaths resulted from burns and injuries due to the ensuing diesel fuel fire."-- Dan Egnor
Morris dancing is an exercise in fertility.
"I am not part of the problem; I am a Republican."-- Dan Quayle
Hindsight is an exact science.
We ignore truths for temporary happiness
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Ignoranus, n: A person who is not only ignorant, but an asshole to boot.
The two most common elements in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity.-- Harlan Ellison
Never send a monster to do the work of an evil genius.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.-- Susan Ertz
Love will find a way. Indifference will find an excuse.
"For some part, genius is but an embellishment on focus"
No need crying over spilt milk. Unless, of course, you're a truck driver and you just lost nearly 3800 gallons on the interstate - then it's okay to cry.-- Dan Lantz
"Even the AI hated [my book]?"
"The AI loved it. That's when we knew for sure that people were going to hate it."-- Dan Simmons (Hyperion)
"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy."
Sign on an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts"
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."-- Dan Quayle
More to be feared than ignorance is the pretense of knowledge.
When you don't have an education, you've got to use your brain.
Rhetorical subtlety doesn't work on people with the perceptive powers of an eggplant.-- Spencer Sun
IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM
Perpetual motion, illustrated: Try putting a slinky on an escalator.
For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.
Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.-- Dandemis
Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
Ignorance simplifies any problem.-- R. Lucke
I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words.
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."-- Mark Twain
"O human race, born to fly upward, wherefore at a little wind dost thou so fall?"-- Dante Alighieri
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.-- Goethe
Given a choice between dancing pigs and security, users will pick dancing pigs every time.
"People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense."-- Ken Kesey
There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.-- Benjamin Dana
"Pretty is something you're born with. But beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective."
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.-- Confucius
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.-- Will Rogers
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Theists think all gods but theirs are false. Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.
When in danger, when in doubt,
run in circles, scream and shout.
Teacher's First Law of Grading Lab Papers: If an experiment has perfect results, the student has cheated.
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.-- Eric Hoffer
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.-- Groucho Marx