53 hits
Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
People must think I'm a mushroom. They constantly keep me in the dark and feed me bullshit.
Serving drinks on aircraft causes turbulence.
It wasn't lies. It was just bullshit, that's all.-- Elwood Blues
Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies.-- Bill Bulko
Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to become comfortable?-- Mia (Pulp Fiction)
In order to become the master the politician poses as the servant.-- Charles De Gaulle
"'Stay' is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary."
Brandolini's law: The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude larger than to produce it.
Bullshit, in contrast to mere nonsense, is something that implies, but does not contain, adequate meaning or truth.
'The whole world loves a lover' is an interesting theory, but a very bad legal defense.-- Keith Sullivan
"You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends.'"-- Scully ("The X Files")
In a church bulletin: This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
TP's 3rd Law: Any sufficiently advanced philosophical discourse is indistinguishable from bullshit.
-- TitanPoint
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't make eight cats pull a sled through the snow.
In a church bulletin: "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
Behaviorism is the art of pulling habits out of rats.-- O'Neill
In a church bulletin: The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
You do not understand hate. You do not hate *something*, you are full of hate or not full of hate. Generally, if you are not full of hate you are dumb. Generally, if you are full of hate you are also dumb. Generally, you are dumb.
In a church bulletin: Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
"Shouldn't we be carefully placing these comics in plastic bags?"
"No, we have lives." (MST3K)
For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.-- R. Clopton
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to really want to change.
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."-- Harvey Fierstein
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.
"So you want a realistic, down-to-earth show that's off-the-wall and full of magical robots?" (The Simpsons)
"Mankind will someday realize that we are actually in contact with the dead and with the other world, whatever it is; right now we could predict, if we only exerted enough mental will, what is giong to happen within the next hundred years and be able to take steps to avoid all kinds of catastrophes. When a man dies he undergoes a mutation in his brain that we know nothing about now but which will be very clear someday if scientists get on the ball. The bastards right now are only interested in seeing if they can blow up the world."-- Bull (On the Road)
Education's purpose is to replace an open mind with a full one.-- David Nestor
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.-- George Burns
Practical philosophy: The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It is twice as large as it needs to be.
Who cares whether the glass is half full or half empty? Shouldn't the question be who's been drinking out of my glass?
Scientists find wonder in everything, except extremely dull papers on quality assurance.
-- Telo (#xkcd)
"One of the CIA's few endearing traits is its penchant for making headlines. It is the world's most fully headlined secret agency."
Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions. It's the only way to make progress.-- Havelock Vetinari
The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.-- Robert Frost
"Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man."-- Francais Bacon
By working faithfully 8 hours a day you may eventually get to be a boss and work 12 hours a day.-- Robert Frost
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.-- Eden Phillpots
You don't stick a knife in a man's back nine inches and then pull it out six inches and say you are making progress.-- Malcolm X
I always used to wonder why the pope wore drag.
-- Tom Farrell
Who cares, as long as he looks faaabulous?!-- Gene Smith
"Jacob Sullum has produced a thoughtful, sane, and logical analysis of our drug laws. Is that even legal?"-- Dave Barry
"I met a lady in the meads
Full beautiful, a faery's child;
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild."-- Keats
"It's good to know that if I behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibility for me."-- Ashleigh Brilliant
Table Snorkeling (tay' bul snawrk' ling), n: Frantic gesticulations when one bites into hot food and has to take in air to cool it off.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb-assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
"Men make angry music and it's called rock-and-roll; women include anger in their vocabulary and suddenly they're angry and militant."-- Ani DiFranco
Every creator painfully experiences the chasm between his inner vision and its ultimate expression.-- Isaac Bashevis Singer