In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.-- Adlai Stevenson
What a man knows at fifty that he didn't know at twenty is, for the most part, incommunicable.-- Adlai Stevenson
The simple rights, the civil liberties from generations of struggle must not be just fine words for patriotic holidays, words we subvert on weekdays, but living, honored rules of conduct amongst us... I'm glad the American Civil Liberties Union gets indignant, and I hope this will always be so.-- Adlai Stevenson
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.-- Steven Wright
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?-- Steven Wright
Thy sky is falling...no, I'm tipping over backwards.-- Steven Wright
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.-- Steven Wright
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.-- Steven Wright
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.-- Steven Wright
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.-- Steven Wright
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.-- Steven Wright
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.-- Steven Wright
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.-- Steven Wright
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?-- Steven Wright
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.-- Steven Wright