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Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you

Machine learning, n: Automation of your biases

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Politics: Poly (many) - tics (blood sucking parasites)

I was raised the old-fashioned way, with a stern set of moral principles: Never lie, cheat, steal, or knowingly spread a venereal disease. Never speed up to hit a pedestrian or, of course, stop to kick a pedestrian who has already been hit. From which it followed, of course, that one would never, ever -- on pain of deletion from dozens of Christmas card lists across the country--vote Republican.
-- Barbara Ehrehreich ("Automating Politics")

Politics is storytelling. We just pick the one we like best.

"If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for them Mexicans."
-- Some politician in Texas

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.
-- Mao Zedong ("Quotations from Chairman Mao," 1966)

Sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
"Do no activate with wet hands"

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
-- Plato

Headline: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

"A cult is a religion with no political power."
-- Tom Wolfe

"The Prophets teach us patience."
-- Vedek Bareil
"It appears they also teach you politics."

-- Sisko (Star Trek: DS9)

"Politics is the entertainment branch of industry."
-- Frank Zappa

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
-- Groucho Marx

Politics is like coaching a football team. You have to be smart enough to understand the game but not smart enough to lose interest.

Politics: strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
-- Ambrose Bierce

In order to become the master the politician poses as the servant.
-- Charles De Gaulle

"Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves."
-- J. B. Priestley

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars.
-- William Westmoreland

It says a lot about the US when they ban lawn darts but you can still buy semi-automatic weapons in a department store.
-- Brian Manz

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize there is a very close resemblance to the first.
-- Ronald Reagan

Politicians should be changed frequently, like diapers - and for much the same reason.

America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned, and the scum floats to the top.

You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
-- Edward Flaherty

If a tree falls in a forest and lands on a politician, even if you can't hear the tree or the screams, I'll bet you'd at least hear the applause.
-- Paul Tindale

If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation, it is that no official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall be orthodox politics, nationalism, religion, or other matters of opinion or force citizens to confess by word or act their faith therein.
-- Justice Robert Jackson

Beepilepsy, n: Aflicts those with vibrating pagers characterized by sudden spasms, goofy facial expressions and loss of speech

"Our country was founded on a distrust of government. Our founding fathers gave power to the people to keep an eye on government. So when politicians say "Trust me" they're actually being very unamerican."
-- David Duchovny (X Files)

War, n: A time-tested political tactic guaranteed to raise a president's popularity rating by at least 30 points. It is especially useful during election years and economic downturns.
-- Chaz Bufe (The Devil's Dictionaries ("American Heretic's Dictionary" section))

The chief product of an automated society is a widespread and deepening sense of boredom.
-- Cyril Parkinson

No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
-- H. L. Mencken