255 hits
Half of the people in the world are below average.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was "aardvark".
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
And it came to pass that in the hands of the ignorant, the words of the Bible were used to beat plowshares into swords.-- Alan Watts
Be alert. The world needs more lerts.
"One good turn gets most of the blankets"
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have trained for years and years can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
Lecture, n: Where the notes of the professor become the notes of the student without passing through the mind of either one.
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought"-- Basho
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
"In America sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it is a fact."-- Marlene Dietrich
2, 3, 3, 37 - the prime factorization of the beast.
People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future.
"The fickleness of the women whom I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me."-- George Bernard Shaw
QUOTE OF THE DAY: `
Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
If we couldn't laugh at things that didn't make sense,
we couldn't react to a lot of the world around us." (Calvin & Hobbes)
"Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog."
"I'm not mad at the world... just at all the people in it."
Never send a monster to do the work of an evil genius.
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.-- Franz Kafka
The fact that I know I'm often a fool, but that I also have an IQ a fair bit over a hundred, scares me. What fools the rest of the world must be.
"One of the CIA's few endearing traits is its penchant for making headlines. It is the world's most fully headlined secret agency."
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself.-- Plato
"If hackers ran the world, there'd be no war. Lots of accidents, maybe."
I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
Oh yeah? You wanna step out of the giant robot and say that again?
Of all the truths in the world, humor is the most satisfying and often the healthiest.
"This site is intended for people over 18, but only because kids shoot each other if they hear the word 'fuck'."
If you're not part of the freaks, you're part of the boredom.-- Perry Farrell
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.-- Gandhi
"Talents are best nurtured in solitude; character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world."-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"The most merciful thing in the world...is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."-- H.P. Lovecraft
The invisible hand of the free market seems to finds itself around a lot of throats.
Law of diminishing IQ:
The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.-- Steven Wright
People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Pedestrian, n: The variable (and audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.
The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. But you know most of them didn't get the joke in the first place, the lying weasels.-- Wade Kwon
Eat a live toad in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
He was just... well, like a lot of madmen. Somewhat accurate view of the problem, really insane view of the solution. (Kid Radd)
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
Government of the people
By a corrupt subset of the people
For the people who can afford the corrupt subset of the people.
-- Chris Newport
"I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy."-- Bern Williams
The Pet Principle:
No matter which side of the door your dog or cat is on, it is the wrong side.
Manners are one of the truly lost causes.-- John Simon
Arithmetic: An obscure art no longer practiced in the world's developed countries.
One of the main causes of trouble in the world is dogmatic and fanatical belief in some doctrine for which there is no adequate evidence.-- Bertrand Russell
Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.-- Oscar Wilde
Most children grow up to be adults in spite of their parents, not because of them.
TCP_UP - The 16-bit TCP Urgent Pointer, encoded as the hex representation of the value of the field. The hex string MUST be capitalized since it is urgent. (RFC 3093)
"The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are."-- Mark Twain
I'm sick of tattoos, sick of piercings, sick of temporary tattoos. They are the white stilettos of the '90s.-- Shirley Manson
"As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand."
-- Josh Billings
God must love assholes--she made so many of them.
"Martyrdom has always been a proof of the intensity, never of the correctness of a belief."-- Arthur Schnitzler
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time.-- E. B. White
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."-- Oscar Wilde
"Simple pleasures are the last refuge of the complex."-- Oscar Wilde
Primus in orbe Deus fecit timor.
"It was fear that introduced gods into the world."
"I am not part of the problem; I am a Republican."-- Dan Quayle
There is much to be said in favor of modern journalism. By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.-- Oscar Wilde
"A child does not have to be taught how to be happy or the ways of love. It is fear, hatred, & prejudice that have to be taught. And from the condition of the world we can see that unfortunately there are some very good teachers."-- Javan
You're probably the sort who would have Dorothy arrested for throwing water on the Wicked Witch of the West.-- Eric Holeman
Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.-- Horace Walpole
I do not like the man: he has all of the virtues I detest and none of the vices I admire.-- Winston Churchill
"You ever hear of the Spartans, Lewis? Ancient Greece...traditional enemies of the Athenians? They were a warrior society. I'll try to make it simple for you...they were Klingon." (The Rhipodon Society)
"It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."-- Mark Twain
My experience as a human being, not to mention my experience as a scholar, tells me that I cannot ever possibly imagine thinking that I have enough information. At no time in my life have I ever had enough time to get all the information I need, and I am wearily used to making compromises in pursuit of adequacy. That quality has nothing to do with the abundance of what is out there, and has everything to do with intellectual character and discipline. What is perceived as infoglut is mainly infoguilt -- a sense that I should be seeking more.-- James J. O'Donnell ("Avatars of the Word")
Sodd's Second Law: Sooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur.
Stand and fight, you misbegotten spawn of the perverse breeding between a pixie and a squirrel!
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.-- Paul Beatty
Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art.-- Susan Sontag
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.-- Emerson
All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value.-- Carl Sagan
"Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road."-- Stewart Brand
X.400 is the mail system of the future, and I hope it stays that way.-- Erik Fair
The business of the mind is first and foremost the pure joy of knowing and comprehending, the pure joy of consciousness.-- Anais Nin
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.-- Helen Keller
"Man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road."-- Alexander Smith
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.-- E. B. White
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.-- Steven Wright
To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, your're overdoing it.-- J. Jenkins
'Be yourself' is about the worst advice you can give to people.-- Tom Masson
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so sure of themselves but wiser people are full of doubts.-- Bertrand Russell
"The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad."-- Friedrich Nietzsche
Choconiverous, adj: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone."-- Henrik Ibsen
"Ergotism is what you get if you overuse the word "therefore". Egotism on the other hand is a form of "I" strain."-- Paul Martin
The job of the poet is to render the world -- to see it and report it without loss, without perversion. No poet ever talks about feelings. Only sentimental people do.-- Mark Van Doren
"Make lots of money", "enjoy the work", "operate within the law": choose 2-- Brian Anderson
I once talked a guy out of blowing up the Sears tower, but I can't talk my wife out of the bathroom or my daughter off the phone. (The Negotiator)
The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking that we have done so far, has created problems we cannot solve at the level of thinking at which we created them.-- Albert Einstein
Be careful of the closeness of the signs lunch and lesbian. If you sign, "I'm hungry, let's eat lesbians", you should be sure that's what you meant.-- Steve Eastman
Unfortunately, there are like five people in the world who understand the X keyboard model--I'm not one of them--and three are insane. It's that bad.-- Tim Showalter
Gina: "Isn't it customary for the suspect to leave the scene of the crime?"
Debra: "Definitely an amateur" (Empire Records)
He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that.-- John Stuart Mill
Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.-- Augustine
"Most people do not watch TV because they want to watch TV. They watch TV to relieve themselves of the burden of finding something actually enjoyable to do."
Spagmumps, n: Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Art is the most intense mode of individualism that the world has known.
-- Oscar Wilde
The unique operations of the (human) brain are the result of natural selection operating through the filter of culture. They have suspended us between the two antipodal ideals of nature and machine, forest and city, the natural and the artifactual, relentlessly seeking, in the words of geographer Yi-Fu Tuan, an equilibrium not of this world.-- Edward O. Wilson ("Biophilia")
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.-- Albert Einstein
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.-- Mark Twain
The greatest possible mint of style is to make the words absolutely disappear into the thought.-- Nathaniel Hawthorne
"As long as the music's loud enough, we won't hear the world falling apart."-- Derek Jarman
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.-- H. L. Mencken
"Evangelists say Halloween is the devil's holiday. What a lame-ass devil! Sitting down in the depths of hell, going, 'I've got control of the major corporations, churning out weapons and toxic waste, but how can I get candy? Let me think--I'll get the children of the world to dress up as hobos and Power Rangers--and then I'll have all the bite-size Three Musketeers I need! Buhahaha!'"
Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in.-- Amy Lowell
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.-- Sean O'Casey
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.-- Mark Twain
'Mundus vult decipi'
(the world wants to be deceived)
"The worst thing about censorship is [deleted by censorship bereau]."
There are lots of things I'd like to be someday, but "normal" is definitely not one of them.-- Nelson Minar
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."
Do not go gentle into that good night... Rage, rage against the dying of the light.-- Dylan Thomas
Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that numbers of people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of the leaders of their government and have gone to war, and millions have been killed because of this obedience... Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves, and all the while the grand thieves are running the country. That's our problem.-- Howard Zinn
"In corporate religions as in others, the heretic must be cast out not because of the probability that he is wrong but because of the possibility that he is right."-- Antony Jay
"Anger is natural. It's part of the force. You just have to learn to hang out with it."-- Tori Amos
The default Magic Word, Abracadabra, actually is a corruption of the Hebrew phrase ha-Bracha dab'ra which means "pronounce the blessing".
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished."-- Goethe
"All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture"-- Bumper sticker
Pedaeration, n: Achieving the perfect body heat by having one leg under the sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwile."-- Franklin P. Jones
"Everything is convention, including law. When it is not the thought that led to the convention, but just the records of the convention that define morals, structural ethics are too dependant, and likely doomed."
Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary.-- Kahlil Gibran
No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.-- Henry Kissinger
I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. Especially Bob Dylan.-- Jim Rosenberg
As I stare into the abyss of the toilet bowl I try hard to rememeber the reason why I felt the desperate need to mix vodka and red wine with whiskey and tequila.-- Shirley Manson
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.-- Adlai Stevenson
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.-- Solomon Short
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.-- Plato
"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."-- Richard Harkness
“How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.”-- Anais Nin
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.-- Woody Allen
The irony is that Bill Gates claims to be making a stable operating system and Linus Torvalds claims to be trying to take over the world.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.-- Bertrand Russell
There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.-- Benjamin Dana
The beasts of the field and fowls of the air did know Ridcully the Brown. They'd got so good at pattern-recognition that, for a radius of about twenty miles around the Ridcully estates, they'd run, hide or in desperate cases attack violently at the mere sight of a pointy hat.-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.-- Andy Rooney
"The thing that I'm into is the philosophy of the music. I love the surprise of things, the accidents--just the sound of a word, to try to express them in the best way, so that the emotion is totally revealed."-- Beth Gibbons
"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them."-- Mark Twain
"Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it." (Calvin & Hobbes)
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.-- George Bernard Shaw
There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are `Why are people born?', `Why do they die?', `Why do they spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?' (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Boss, n.: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages the words 'boss' and 'botch' were largely synonymous, except that boss, in addition to meaning 'a supervisor of workers' also meant 'an ornamental stud.'
The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.-- Bertrand Russell
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.-- Woody Allen
"I'm the Queen of the nerds. I love nerds- by which I mean, not a cool, bitchin' person. I guess I was a cool nerd. I wasn't shuffling my feet in the corner of the playground, I was the homecoming queen, but then, all the nerds voted for me."-- Tori Amos
"Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable."-- Henry Louis Mencken
Now, in the Overall Schema Of The Universe, I would imagine that this sort of thing ranks somewhere down around gnat's eyelashes.-- George Madison
Once in a while it really hits people that they don't have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.-- Alan Keightley
"Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good."
-- Vaclav Havel
"The Hindenburg crash had 62 survivors and 35 fatalities. Of the 35 deaths, 27 resulting from jumping from the airship. Many of the remaining 8 deaths resulted from burns and injuries due to the ensuing diesel fuel fire."-- Dan Egnor
Dessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be the last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table.-- The Anarchist Cookbook
Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.-- Margaret Cho
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.
The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following. The party of the first part shall, with or without elevation at his or her option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part and rotate the party of the second part in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being tendered non-negotiable. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part becomes fully detached from the receptacle, the party of the first part shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part in a manner consistent with all relevant and applicable local, state and federal statutes. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part shall have the option of beginning installation. Aforesaid installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable. The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part, by any or all agents authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the Partnership.
"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."-- Hemingway
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are software.-- Richard P. Brennan
Part of the difference of learning something by interest or necessity is how we file it, with what urgency, and how we think of it when we think of it again.
"I wanted to make a little spot in the context of the record where there was this break in the action. In the midst of this buildup of these ever-growing, terrible machines, I just wanted to remember that there is somewhere... else."-- Trent Reznor
The guests giggled, and floated down to the bottom of the garden to inspect the herbaceous borders, and snatch a quick snog before the crudities.-- Stephen Foster
Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A ...... consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks".
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.-- Winston Churchill
I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is.-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
"The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to be insane in such a useful way that they can't commit you."-- Mark Edwards
"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment."-- Robert Benchley
One of the problems with learning that many teachers fail to see is that until you really understand something, any argument made out of that understanding context tends to be pretty useless.
What's wrong with being drunk in bed? Being drunk on the floor of the garage, I can understand someone objecting to. But drunk in bed?-- Brad DeLong
And so, the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people.-- Terry Pratchett (Night Watch)
When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.-- Jonathan Swift
Mustard: Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
Wadsworth: You don't need any help from me, sir.
Mustard: That's right! (Clue)
"The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so that they will believe they are as clever as he."-- Karl Kraus
I usually shoot for that threshold of coffee strength that's just *short* of the coffee achieving sentience.-- Gretchen Wright
The BeOS takes the best features from the major operating systems. It's got the power and flexibility of Unix, the interface and ease of use of the MacOS, and Minesweeper from Windows.-- Tyler Riti
My goal is simple. It is complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all.-- Stephen Hawking
The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything. Oops. No, that's not what I meant to say.-- Joel Spolsky
Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be the king.-- Mark Van Doren
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Man is, and always has been, a maker of gods. It has been the most serious and significant occupation of his sojourn in the world.-- John Burroughs
You see, the conditional modifers depend on certain variables like the day of the week, the number of players, chair positions, things like that. [...] There can't be more than a dozen or two that are pertinent.-- Robert Asprin ("Little Myth Marker")
"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, 'O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless--of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?' Answer. That you are here--that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"-- Tom Schulman (Dead Poets Society)
It is almost universally felt that when we call a country democratic we are praising it; consequently, the defenders of every kind of regime claim that it is a democracy, and fear that they might have to stop using the word if it were tied down to any one meaning.-- George Orwell
I save about twenty drafts -- that's ten meg of disc space -- and the last one contains all the final alterations. Once it has been printed out and received by the publishers, there's a cry here of 'Tough shit, literary researchers of the future, try getting a proper job!' and the rest are wiped.-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.-- Robert Frost
What is a saint? A saint is someone who has achieved a remote human possibility. It is impossible to say what that possibility is. I think it has something to do with the energy of love. Contact with this energy results in the exercise of a kind of balance in the chaos of existence. A saint does not dissolve the chaos; if he did the world would have changed long ago. I do not think that a saint dissolves the chaos even for himself, for there is something arrogant and warlike in the notion of a man setting the universe in order. It is a kind of balance that is his glory. He rides the drifts like an escaped ski. His course is the caress of the hill. His track is a drawing of the snow in a moment of its particular arrangement with wind and rock. Something in him so loves the world that he gives himself to the laws of gravity and chance. Far from flying with the angels, he traces with the fidelity of a seismograph needle the state of the solid bloody landscape. His house is dangerous and finite, but he is at home in the world. He can love the shape of human beings, the fine and twisted shapes of the heart. It is good to have among us such men, such balancing monsters of love.-- Leonard Cohen (Beautiful Losers (1966))
There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.-- Silent Bob (Clerks)
"Television has lifted the manufacture of banality out of the sphere of handicraft and placed it in that of a major industry."-- Nathalie Sarraute
And the pickles frolicked with the waffles, joyously.
"Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?"
If the pen is mightier than the sword then how can actions speak louder than words?
"Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good ones are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon."
The world, especially for the middle and upper classes, is much more fool-proof then it used to be. A fool-proof environment causes an increase in the number of fools.-- Hillel Gazit
When you dig straight down, you won't reach the other end of the earth. There's a couple of reasons:
-You will drown in the water.
-If you brought scuba gear, you will burn because the center of the earth is too hot.
-If you even thought of that and brought a portable black hole� with you, you'll become disoriented, partly due to gravity, and start digging in circles.
He's come up with half of the algorithms used in the 20th century, but wouldn't actually recognize an actual computer if you dropped it on him.-- Jason Riek (about Dana Scott)
Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.-- Thomas Jefferson
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?"-- Linda Ellerbee
"Not all moderators and FAQ-compilers eventually become power-mad and insane. Some of them started out that way."
"I wanna hold your hand" -- The Beatles.
"I wanna fuck you like an animal" -- Nine Inch Nails.
30 years of rock 'n roll evolution.
Abnormal, adj:
Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself. Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.-- Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
"I love writing but hate starting. The page is awfully white and it says, 'You may have fooled some of the people some of the time but those days are over, *giftless*. I'm not your agent and I'm not your mommy, I'm a white piece of paper, you wanna dance with me?'"-- Aaron Sorkin
Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.-- Robert Benchley
Funny. All the wireless people seem to be the marionettes.
"Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely-read man never quotes accurately for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely."-- Hesketh Pearson
The value of the Constitution depends on the good will of government itself. If the Supreme Court rules that the Bill of Rights should not interfere with the important business of government (which they have done on at least two occasions), then the Constitution is meaningless.-- John Kormylo
I find "Yes, you _can_ do it that way, but the rest of the Internet community will point at you and giggle", followed by my walking out in a flurry of RFCs, tends to be quite effective-- Tanuki the Raccoon-Dog (a.s.r.)
I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.-- Dorothy Parker
It is possible to believe that all the past is but the beginning of a beginning, and that all that is and has been is but the twilight of the dawn. It is possible to believe that all the human mind has ever accomplished is but the dream before the awakening.-- H.G. Wells
"Being a graduate student is like becoming all of the Seven Dwarves. In the beginning you're Dopey and Bashful. In the middle, you are usually sick (Sneezy), tired (Sleepy), and irritable (Grumpy). But at the end, they call you Doc, and then you're Happy."
"The world is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel."-- Horace Walpole
As long as the general population is passive, apathetic, diverted to consumerism or hatred of the vulnerable, then the powerful can do as they please, and those who survive will be left to contemplate the outcome.-- Noam Chomsky
Rincewind rather enjoyed times like this. They convinced him that he wasn't mad because, if he was mad, that left no word at all to describe some of the people he met.-- Terry Pratchett (Sourcery)
"The west won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-westerners never do."-- Samuel P. Huntington
Wouldn't the sentence "I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign" have been clearer if quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips?
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.-- Andy Tanenbaum
Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.-- James Thurber
You can't remember the plot of the Dr. Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)