randomsearchproposestats
15 hits
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
-- Robin Williams (commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair)
I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.
-- William J. Clinton
Our families have values, but our government doesn't.
-- Bill Clinton (Democratic National Convention, 1992)
What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts -- not the facts themselves.
-- Cohen's Law
Don’t speak unless you can improve on the silence.
"Conviction is a luxury for those on the sidelines."
Microsoft: Re-inventing the square wheel.
If I have seen further than other men, it is by stepping on their glasses.
-- Michael Swaine
Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A: Because it was on the other side.
"Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell."
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-- Clint Black
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
-- Groucho Marx
"Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street."
The rain it raineth on the just
     And also on the unjust fella,
But chiefly on the just, because
     The unjust steals the just's umbrella.
Frisbeetarianism: the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.