142 hits
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.-- Paul Biron
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.-- Erica Jong
Rehab is for quitters.
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.-- Eric Hoffer
Is there no accounting for taste? There isn't even a budget for it.-- Sean Levy
Except for bunnies.-- Anya
"When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other."-- Eric Hoffer
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
Ah, twitter, where people will be deeply outraged for one to six hours, before forgetting forever.
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: No one to blame.-- Erica Jong
Use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for Solitaire.
"When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored."-- Eric Hoffer
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being right.
"I'll take Fucking Clues for $200."
"Grand ennui" sounds so much nicer than "annoyance."-- Eric P. Scott
Catapult: device for throwing cats long distances.
"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."-- Eric Hoffer
You're probably the sort who would have Dorothy arrested for throwing water on the Wicked Witch of the West.-- Eric Holeman
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.-- Susan Ertz
We ignore truths for temporary happiness
"Microsoft is not the problem. Microsoft is the symptom."-- Eric S. Raymond
Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope.-- Arnold Glasgow
The reward for a job well done is more work.
"...the only place for 63,000 bugs is a rain forest"
For most mothers, day care is a problem. I'm looking for night care, too.-- Cathy Crimmins
We shame outselves for the sake of simplicity.
A winning formula can be obliterated simply by the change to an ingorant new manager.
A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. A theologian is the one who finds it.
"You don't have to suffer to be a poet. Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone."-- John Ciardi
Elbonics, n: The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"I'll fight for you, but I will not compete for you... There's a difference."
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Alimony: the fee a woman charges for name-dropping.
"If Today Was a Fish, I'd Throw It Back In." (Song Title)
Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.
"Conviction is a luxury for those on the sidelines."
"People aren’t against you; they are for themselves."
Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
It's only fun if you can get in trouble for doing it.
Go not to Usenet for counsel, for it will say both no, and yes, and no, and yes....
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.-- Bertrand Russell
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.-- Eden Phillpots
"The bigger the information media, the less courage and freedom they allow. Bigness means weakness."-- Eric Sevareid
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."-- Woody Allen
Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, let the machine get it.
Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he would spend two years campaigning and organizing for it should not be trusted with the office.
Knowledge is often mistaken for intelligence. This is like mistaking a cup of milk for a cow.
Antisocial arrogance is only for those of us who deserve it.
"I always say it was great for God to send his only son, but I'm waiting for him to send his only daughter. Then things will be really great."-- Candace Pert
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Headline: Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
Women treat us just as humanity treats its gods. They worship us and are always bothering us to do something for them.-- Oscar Wilde
The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling.-- Robert Pirsig
Never underestimate the human capacity for cognitive dissonance.
"*snort* I'm waiting for the day when people realise that mainstream is a subset of SF without the speculation..."-- Emmet O'Brien
A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow they may cancel your VISA.
All I ask for is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
X.400 is the mail system of the future, and I hope it stays that way.-- Erik Fair
If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.-- Mae West
Dot: Do you think Scratchy'd like some cologne?
Fifi: We have "Obsession", "Repression", and "Ecstacy".
Dot: Do you have anything for beginners? (Animaniacs; Survey Ladies)
Argue not with Dragons, for thou art crunchy and go well with cheese.
Pigslice, n: The last unclaimed piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me."-- Hunter S. Thompson
I am two fools, I know, For loving, and for saying so in whining poetry.-- John Donne
It is better to be hated for what one is than loved for what one is not.-- Andre Gide
Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.-- Alexander Woollcott
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.-- Steven Wright
A "practical joker" deserves applause for his wit according to its quality. Bastinado is about right. For exceptional wit one might grant keelhauling. But staking him out on an anthill should be reserved for the very wittiest.-- Lazarus Long
Insofar as possible, I surround myself with pleasant, tolerant, intelligent people. Life's too short to spend it with people who don't like what you are.-- Eric Holeman
Conservative: a man who believes nothing should be done for the first time.
"No, 'Eureka' is Greek for 'This bath is too hot.'"-- Dr. Who
If God had meant for us to go around naked we would have been born that way.
"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."-- Mark Twain
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.-- Dorothy Parker
If there is no such thing as justice then the best we can hope for is revenge
Sleep is for wimps. Happy, healthy, well-rested wimps, but wimps nonetheless.
I'll say it again for the logic impaired.-- Larry Wall
A day without a pun is a day without sunshine; there is gloom for improvement.
There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as moral indignation, which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue.-- Erich Fromm
Religion is for people afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for people who have already been there.
Pedestrian, n: The variable (and audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.
Religion often gets credit for curing rascals when old age is the real medicine.
If it wasn't for the optimist the pessimist would never know how happy he isn't.
Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.-- Morticia Adams
"Suffering for your art is most definitely overrated but I do get a certain, I don't know, satisfaction from being able to deal with my paranoia and insecurity."-- Beth Gibbons
"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit."-- Maugham
For longer than I can remember,
I've been looking for someone like you.
Someone with a head like yours,
and a torso too.
Birds sing and you're gonna pay.
The end.-- Tak (Invader Zim)
We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them.-- Evelyn Waugh
Men forget, but never forgive. Women forgive, but never forget.
"Are you queer? Maybe just for tonight? 20 minutes? You don't have to be conscious."
Piety, n: Reverence for the Supreme Being, based on His supposed resemblance to man.
In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.-- Oscar Wilde
Politicians should be changed frequently, like diapers - and for much the same reason.
If god meant for us to program, he's a sadist.-- Rob Earhart
Daria: I believe in coffee, coffee for everyone. But I don't want to sell chocolate anymore. It makes me feel dirty.
Jane: The bad kind of dirty. (Daria)
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!-- Ashleigh Brilliant
VB is very useful for allowing non programmers to prove they cant program.-- Druck
Revolutionary movements attract those who are not good enough for established institutions as well as those who are too good for them.-- George Bernard Shaw
For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.-- R. Clopton
What luck for the rulers that men do not think.-- Adolf Hitler
Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff.-- Peter de Vries
“If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for.”-- Thomas Merton
Fortress: a female fort.
My notion of a husband at forty is that a woman should be able to change him, like a bank note, for two twenties.
"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."-- Cyril Connolly
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.-- Fran Lebowitz
"Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it wont be allowed."-- Mark Twain
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.-- Don Marquis
"News" is just the stuff they use to fill up all the empty space they couldn't sell for advertising.
I like the kind of people that can hold on to the the feeling they have after the song or movie ends.
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.