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Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
-- Ed Howe

A thief believes everybody steals.
-- E.W. Howe

It's not how fast you run, or how high you jump. It's how well you bounce.

Descartes described how his father taught him how to swim by throwing him into the Seine: "I sink, therefore I swam."

Q: How do you keep a moron in suspense?

"Reality continues to ruin my life."
-- Calvin and Hobbes

"Geologists know how to make the bedrock."

Know thyself. If you need help, call the C.I.A.

Advisor: The guy who told you how to screw up.

"Me, getting smart with you? How would you know?"

There was never a saint with red hair.
(Russian proverb)

"It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I choose to accept."
-- Calvin and Hobbes

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I trusted him like a brother -- which is to say, not at all.

"I don't need to be told how to do my job."
"I hope not, because it's by ass on the line and I'm up to my neck in it."

(The Thin Blue Line)

Power corrupts, but we need electricity.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Part of the difference of learning something by interest or necessity is how we file it, with what urgency, and how we think of it when we think of it again.

Donkey: a horse designed by a study team.

The poor little wooden boy could only sit helplessly and watch while the old puppet maker, his father, whom he had just told how a nice fairy had turned him into a living boy, worked on a life-sized puppet of a young woman with big hooters.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock

If it wasn't for the optimist the pessimist would never know how happy he isn't.

"Have you ever wondered how that could have happened?"
"No."
"That was a rhetorical question. It wasn't meant to be answered."
"But that was a rhetorical answer. It wasn't meant to be questioned."

"You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how."
(Gone With the Wind)