47 hits
"She says control it, then she says don't control it, then she says you're controlling the way she makes you crawl."-- Tori Amos ("She's Your Cocaine")
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
Doubt your beliefs and believe your doubts.
C++, the language in which only friends can access your private members.
"Life was so much easier when your clothes didn't match and boys had cooties"
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.-- George Bernard Shaw
Blow your mind - smoke dynamite.
"I didn't understand this at first, but YOUR CONVINCING USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS HAS MADE IT ALL CLEAR TO ME."-- J. Nairn
All your base pairs are belong to us
There's a nut loose on your keyboard.
Someone will try to honk your nose today.
It is better to waste one's youth, than to do nothing at all with it.-- Courteline
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.-- Groucho Marx
"Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice."
That your decision was right doesn't in any way mean your reasons were.
Please do not duck the next time the clue-by-four swings your way.-- Ben Browning
Never only doubt or only believe your doubts.
It's 3:30 A.M. Do you know where your mail is?
Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.
Machine learning, n: Automation of your biases
The acceptable response to homosexuality is not "It's OK, it's not your choice," or, even, "It's OK, it is your choice," but rather, "So?"-- Amy Gorin
When I was your age I...wait, I can't tell that story, it's wildly inappropriate. Which, oddly enough, is my point. Don't you want wildly inappropriate stories that you can't tell your children?-- Castle
"If I want your opinion, I will give it to you."
I am Dyslexic of Borg. Your ass will be laminated.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Rule of Feline Frustration: When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.
Death (your own): This will be accepted as an excuse, but we shall require two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job. (Corporate sick leave policy)
Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
Basing any to-be-correct life philosophy on one tiny alteration of your current life philosophy, that needed replacement as you've decided, is just bound to be a mistake.
"It's 5:50 a.m., Do you know where your stack pointer is?"
Apparently a real radio transcript conversation off the coast of Newfoundland.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Answer the phone naked. Callers will hear it in your voice.
Nowadays, originality is the art of concealing your source.
One can overstate anything. Your advertising depends on it.
Sign on an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts"
May a Misguided Platypus lay its Eggs in your Jockey Shorts.
"It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him."-- J. R. R. Tolkien
Things written above an urinal: 'The future is in your hands!'
When you don't have an education, you've got to use your brain.
If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a "fix" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.-- Rob Stampfli
Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow they may cancel your VISA.
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
Please storyteller, pull a tale from your pocket,
Spin me a story from your coat-tails so bare,
For my heart has turned cold, and my dreams are too old,
And I need to know the magic's still there-- Heather Alexander (Storyteller)
"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.