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Real Programmers never work from 9 to 5. If any real programmer is around at 9 a.m., it's because they were up all night.-- Some computer geek
(A)bort (R)etry (T)oss computer across room?
Guru, n: A computer owner who can read the manual.
Murphy's Eleventh Law of Computing:
A computer program will follow your orders, but rarely your intentions.
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?-- Marilyn Pittman
"The computer world is like a great big toy store. But all the toys are broken."-- Steve Witham
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.-- Steve Wozniak
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.
On-line, adj: The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
Computer Science without FORTRAN and COBOL is like birthday cake without ketchup and mustard.
Computers save man a lot of guesswork, but then, so do bikini's.
We may begin to see reality differently simply because the computer ... provides a different angle on reality.-- Heinz Pagels
"The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs."-- Joseph Weizenbaum
"I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course - the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end."-- Douglas Adams
"Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers."-- Robert Hummel
Nobody's gonna believe that computers are intelligent until they start coming in late and lying about it.
I try to make computers say things like "You have 60 seconds to achieve safe distance".-- Terry Pratchett
Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies.-- Bill Bulko
Well, there's a quantum computer that can factor [the number] 15, so those of you using 4-bit RSA should worry.-- Bruce Schneier
"People can travel great distances on a computer, so why can't we travel that way emotionally?"-- Tori Amos
"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little."-- Porterfield
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.-- Edsger Dijkstra
"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth."-- Dave Barry
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.-- Wernher von Braun