13 hits
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava let 'em go because, man, they're gone.-- Jack Handey
Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.-- Jack Handey
"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it."-- Jack Wagner
Enjoy yourself. If you can't enjoy yourself, enjoy somebody else.-- Jack Schaefer
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
Idle hands are the air guitar's playground (Alas)
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
Sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
"Do no activate with wet hands"
When you look at someone through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. (BoJack Horseman)
Jack Benny played Mendelssohn last night. Mendelssohn lost.
Things written above an urinal: 'The future is in your hands!'