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That's, uh, quite a dress you almost have on.
(An American in Paris)

"That's the trouble with women these days. They act like men and want to be treated like women"
(An American in Paris)

On an American Airlines package of nuts: Instructions: Open package, eat nuts.

Sign in a hotel elevator in Paris:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."

No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
-- H. L. Mencken

"Invest in America, Buy a Congressman."
-- Bumper sticker

The American public knows what it wants, and deserves to get it good and hard.
-- H. L. Mencken

"Our American professors like their literature clear, cold, pure and very dead."
-- Sinclair Lewis

"In America--as elsewhere--free speech is confined to the dead."
-- Mark Twain

That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)

I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.
-- Lester Burnham (American Beauty)

98% of us Americans are hard-working people. It's the other 2% that give us a bad reputation. Then again, we did elect them.

Dustin Pons, an American high-school student who attended a Soviet school for three weeks, as quoted in the New York Times: "American teenagers are more socially advanced. For instance, in their free time Soviets would rather read a book or walk in the park or play the piano. American teenagers would probably go out and watch TV, go to a movie, or something more actively inclined."
("The Progressive")

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."
-- Mark Twain