56 hits
I once talked a guy out of blowing up the Sears tower, but I can't talk my wife out of the bathroom or my daughter off the phone. (The Negotiator)
"The first 80% of software development is the easy part. The hard part is the next 80%"
Please do not duck the next time the clue-by-four swings your way.-- Ben Browning
Lecture, n: Where the notes of the professor become the notes of the student without passing through the mind of either one.
"The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it."-- John Gilmore
"Sometimes the need to mess with their heads outweighs the millstone of humiliation."-- Fox Mulder (The X-Files)
The next time you feel like downloading 'The Little Engine That Could' into a weapon of mass destruction: Don't.
"God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyll and Hyde of sacred romance."-- Mark Twain
Is not that the nature of men and women--that the pleasure is in the learning of each other?
"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them."-- Mark Twain
Notice in a hotel lobby in Bucharest:
"The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
Law of diminishing IQ:
The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.
"I'm the Queen of the nerds. I love nerds- by which I mean, not a cool, bitchin' person. I guess I was a cool nerd. I wasn't shuffling my feet in the corner of the playground, I was the homecoming queen, but then, all the nerds voted for me."-- Tori Amos
We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when it's necessary to compromise.
-- Larry Wall
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.-- Goethe
Democracy according to the NRA: Firearms are necessary to protect individual liberties; most of all the right to own firearms.
"Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record. I said 'no, but I have the new Devo album'. Cops have no sense of humor."
"Know thyself? If I knew myself, I'd run away."-- Goethe
"Must... defy... laws... of... physics!"-- The Tick
"Ergotism is what you get if you overuse the word "therefore". Egotism on the other hand is a form of "I" strain."-- Paul Martin
Seeing is forgetting the name of that which one sees.-- Paul Valery
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
Television: the bland leading the bland.
�...Because the establishment never gets it. That�s how it is with paradigm shift. The establishment does not see where the next wave is coming from. And even if they hire someone to tell them where the next wave is coming from, they never believe them.�-- Ted Nelson
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was "aardvark".
"The need of exercise is a modern superstition, invented by people who ate too much and had nothing to think about."-- George Santayana
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."-- Herbert Hoover
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.-- Goethe
What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts -- not the facts themselves.-- Cohen's Law
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
"All the people stared as if we were both quite insane."-- The Hollies
I like having a machine called 'elvis' on the network because that way, I can say 'ping elvis' and have it come back with 'elvis is alive'.-- Carl Shipley
Life is like a dog-sled team; If you ain't the lead dog, the scene never changes.
Everything has been thought of before, but the problem is to think of it again.-- Goethe
"They say necessity is the mother of invention. And when the necessity is survival, she can be one mean mother. Of course, it's her child, invention, who's the real dangerous one."-- Darien Fawkes (The Invisible Man)
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
The best way to get rid of worries is to let them die of neglect.
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
The law should make men free. The problem is making the law free.
Speer's 1st Law of Proofreading: The visibility of an error is inversely proportional to the number of times you have looked at it.
The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.
"Remember the Golden Rule: Those who have the gold make the rules."
Of all the truths in the world, humor is the most satisfying and often the healthiest.
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
Monday is the root of all evil.
2, 3, 3, 37 - the prime factorization of the beast.
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished."-- Goethe
Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.