21 hits
Academe, n:
An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.
Academy, n:
[from Academe] A modern school where football is taught.-- Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
Clique: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses. (Cynic's Dictionary)
Regrettable Necessity, n:
An avoidable atrocity. The term is often employed by presidents and prime ministers when announcing bombings of civilian targets and invasions of small countries.-- Chaz Bufe (The Devil's Dictionaries)
Math Anxiety: An intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching each other at speeds of 60 and 80 mph. (Cynic's Dictionary)
Quality Of Life: What an industrialized nation is said to offer when enough of its citizens are suffering from terminal stress. (Cynic's Dictionary)
Sniglet, n: Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
PATRIOTISM, n:
1) The inability to distinguish between the government and one's 'country';
2) A highly praiseworthy virtue characterized by the desire to dominate and kill;
3) A feeling of exultation experienced when contemplating heaps of charred 'enemy' corpses;
4) The first, last, and perennial refuge of scoundrels.-- Chaz Bufe (The Devil's Dictionaries ("American Heretic's Dictionary" section))
Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary.-- Kahlil Gibran
X-Chromosome: A genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs. (Cynic's Dictionary)
Abnormal, adj:
Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself. Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.-- Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
Angst, n: A form of suffering caused by too much thinking; a phenomenon probably considered incomprehensible by those who own a recreational vehicle.-- Rick Bayan (The Cynic's Dictionary)
"God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier."-- Bumper sticker
May you get to Heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you're dead.-- Irish Proverb
Boss, n.: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages the words 'boss' and 'botch' were largely synonymous, except that boss, in addition to meaning 'a supervisor of workers' also meant 'an ornamental stud.'
Always behave like a duck: keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.-- Jacob Braude
"Evangelists say Halloween is the devil's holiday. What a lame-ass devil! Sitting down in the depths of hell, going, 'I've got control of the major corporations, churning out weapons and toxic waste, but how can I get candy? Let me think--I'll get the children of the world to dress up as hobos and Power Rangers--and then I'll have all the bite-size Three Musketeers I need! Buhahaha!'"
Fanfiction is just fixing things in post-post-production