randomsearchproposestats
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T.V. is the only wet nurse that would create a cripple
-- The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy (Television, the Drug of the Nation)
Television: the bland leading the bland.
"The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of Earth."
-- Dogbert (Dilbert)
QUOTE OF THE DAY: `
"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy 1981-1987
Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself.
-- Plato
2, 3, 3, 37 - the prime factorization of the beast.
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
"One good turn gets most of the blankets"
The future exists first in the imagination, then in the will, then in reality.
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."
-- Herbert Hoover
Half of the people in the world are below average.
America was founded by drug smugglers -- rum was the drug, but smugglers nonetheless.
People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future.
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."
-- Fred Allen (1894-1956)
"Television has lifted the manufacture of banality out of the sphere of handicraft and placed it in that of a major industry."
-- Nathalie Sarraute
If you think that mental illness interferes with financial success, just look at the average television evangelist.
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
-- Dick Cavett
Lecture, n: Where the notes of the professor become the notes of the student without passing through the mind of either one.
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
-- Deteriorata (from the National Lampoon Radio Dinner album)
You have to understand art all by yourself. It's not like television, where you look at it and it explains to you what you are looking at.
-- Jim Halat
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright
Eat a live toad in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Law of diminishing IQ:
The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.
Oh yeah? You wanna step out of the giant robot and say that again?
"Television is to news as bumperstickers are to philosophy."
-- Richard M. Nixon
Is not that the nature of men and women--that the pleasure is in the learning of each other?
If you're not part of the freaks, you're part of the boredom.
-- Perry Farrell
"The drug user drowns in the same pool mystics swim in."
-- Joseph Campbell
They call television a medium. That is because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs
"If you're one in a million, there are ten of you in New York."
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
Pedestrian, n: The variable (and audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
-- Groucho Marx
Do not go gentle into that good night... Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
-- Dylan Thomas
The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
He was just... well, like a lot of madmen. Somewhat accurate view of the problem, really insane view of the solution.
(Kid Radd)
TCP_UP - The 16-bit TCP Urgent Pointer, encoded as the hex representation of the value of the field. The hex string MUST be capitalized since it is urgent.
(RFC 3093)
Government of the people
By a corrupt subset of the people
For the people who can afford the corrupt subset of the people.

-- Chris Newport
The revolution will NOT be televised.
Manners are one of the truly lost causes.
-- John Simon
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
The Creation of the Universe was made possible by a grant from Texas Instruments.
(Credits, "The Creation of the Universe" (A PBS scientific documentary))
The fewer clear facts you have in support of an opinion, the stronger your emotional attachment to that opinion.
The Pet Principle:
No matter which side of the door your dog or cat is on, it is the wrong side.
And it came to pass that in the hands of the ignorant, the words of the Bible were used to beat plowshares into swords.
-- Alan Watts
Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art.
-- Susan Sontag
Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.
-- Oscar Wilde
Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought"
-- Basho
I once talked a guy out of blowing up the Sears tower, but I can't talk my wife out of the bathroom or my daughter off the phone.
(The Negotiator)
"The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are."
-- Mark Twain
The writer is the engineer of the human soul.
-- Joseph Stalin
"I am not part of the problem; I am a Republican."
-- Dan Quayle
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."
-- Oscar Wilde
"Simple pleasures are the last refuge of the complex."
-- Oscar Wilde
Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.
-- Chuang-Tzu (350 B.C.)
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time.
-- E. B. White
Annual drug deaths: tobacco: 395,000, alcohol: 125,000, 'legal' drugs: 38,000, illegal drug overdoses: 5,200, marijuana: 0. Considering government subsidies of tobacco, just what is our government protecting us from in the drug war?
(williamt@athena.eng.sun.com)
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock
Education, then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great machinery.
-- Horace Mann
"As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand."

-- Josh Billings
I do not like the man: he has all of the virtues I detest and none of the vices I admire.
-- Winston Churchill
"Your uniform is very... informative."
-- The Doctor (to Seven of Nine)
"Irony is the hygiene of the mind."
-- Elizabeth Bibesco
A popular man arouses the jealousy of the powerful.
-- Frank Herbert (Dune)
Most children grow up to be adults in spite of their parents, not because of them.
X.400 is the mail system of the future, and I hope it stays that way.
-- Erik Fair
Stand and fight, you misbegotten spawn of the perverse breeding between a pixie and a squirrel!
Pedaeration, n: Achieving the perfect body heat by having one leg under the sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road."
-- Stewart Brand
God must love assholes--she made so many of them.
Choconiverous, adj: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"Martyrdom has always been a proof of the intensity, never of the correctness of a belief."
-- Arthur Schnitzler
Seeing is forgetting the name of that which one sees.
-- Paul Valery
Breakfast is the most important meal of the afternoon.
-- Amelia T. Smith
Gina: "Isn't it customary for the suspect to leave the scene of the crime?"
Debra: "Definitely an amateur"
(Empire Records)
"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them."
-- Mark Twain
Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary.
-- Kahlil Gibran
He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
-- Fletcher Knebel
Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.
-- Augustine
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
-- Emerson
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have trained for years and years can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
"In corporate religions as in others, the heretic must be cast out not because of the probability that he is wrong but because of the possibility that he is right."
-- Antony Jay
"The fickleness of the women whom I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me."
-- George Bernard Shaw
"Man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road."
-- Alexander Smith
"Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned."
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
-- H. L. Mencken
The business of the mind is first and foremost the pure joy of knowing and comprehending, the pure joy of consciousness.
-- Anais Nin
There is much to be said in favor of modern journalism. By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar Wilde
"I'm the Queen of the nerds. I love nerds- by which I mean, not a cool, bitchin' person. I guess I was a cool nerd. I wasn't shuffling my feet in the corner of the playground, I was the homecoming queen, but then, all the nerds voted for me."
-- Tori Amos
They sicken of the calm that know the storm.
-- Dorothy Parker ('Fair Weather,' Sunset Gun, 1928)
To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, your're overdoing it.
-- J. Jenkins
"You ever hear of the Spartans, Lewis? Ancient Greece...traditional enemies of the Athenians? They were a warrior society. I'll try to make it simple for you...they were Klingon."
(The Rhipodon Society)
My goal is simple. It is complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all.
-- Stephen Hawking
"I'm a nymphomaniac of the heart."
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
"One of the CIA's few endearing traits is its penchant for making headlines. It is the world's most fully headlined secret agency."
There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.
-- Benjamin Dana
"Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it."
(Calvin & Hobbes)
My strength is as the strength of ten, because my heart is pure. Pure what I don't think I want to know.
-- Mercedes Lackey (Children of the Night)
"Anger is natural. It's part of the force. You just have to learn to hang out with it."
-- Tori Amos
"We have art in order not to die of the truth."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished."
-- Goethe
If we couldn't laugh at things that didn't make sense,
we couldn't react to a lot of the world around us."
(Calvin & Hobbes)
"All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture"
-- Bumper sticker
Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Spagmumps, n: Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.
The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following. The party of the first part shall, with or without elevation at his or her option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part and rotate the party of the second part in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being tendered non-negotiable. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part becomes fully detached from the receptacle, the party of the first part shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part in a manner consistent with all relevant and applicable local, state and federal statutes. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part shall have the option of beginning installation. Aforesaid installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable. The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part, by any or all agents authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the Partnership.
The default Magic Word, Abracadabra, actually is a corruption of the Hebrew phrase ha-Bracha dab'ra which means "pronounce the blessing".
Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.
-- Horace Walpole
"It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."
-- Mark Twain
No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
-- Henry Kissinger
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson
It is possible to believe that all the past is but the beginning of a beginning, and that all that is and has been is but the twilight of the dawn. It is possible to believe that all the human mind has ever accomplished is but the dream before the awakening.
-- H.G. Wells
I'm sick of tattoos, sick of piercings, sick of temporary tattoos. They are the white stilettos of the '90s.
-- Shirley Manson
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
-- Plato
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. But you know most of them didn't get the joke in the first place, the lying weasels.
-- Wade Kwon
You're probably the sort who would have Dorothy arrested for throwing water on the Wicked Witch of the West.
-- Eric Holeman
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
-- Rod Serling
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
-- Woody Allen