randomsearchproposestats
30 hits
You can tell how far we have to go when FORTRAN is the language of supercomputers.
-- Steven Feiner
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
-- Steven Wright
There aren't enough days in the weekend.
-- Steven Wright
If god dropped acid, would he see people?
-- Steven Wright
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
-- Steven Wright
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
-- Steven Wright
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
-- Steven Wright
Thy sky is falling...no, I'm tipping over backwards.
-- Steven Wright
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
-- Steven Wright
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
-- Steven Wright
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
-- Steven Wright
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
-- Steven Wright
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
-- Steven Wright
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
-- Steven Wright
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
-- Steven Wright
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-- Steven Wright
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright
No matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
-- Steven Wright
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings. Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire...
-- Steven Wright
A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
-- Adlai Stevenson
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
-- Steven Wright
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson
What a man knows at fifty that he didn't know at twenty is, for the most part, incommunicable.
-- Adlai Stevenson
Today was a really, really great day, on the "aaagh fuck me!" scale.
-- Steve VanDevender
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)... and says, "Here, you can go."
-- Steven Wright
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.
-- Steve Wozniak
If common sense was so common then everyone would have it.
-- Steve Giammarco
"The first thing to remember about Unix is that nothing is ever spelled correctly."
-- Steve Lidie
"The computer world is like a great big toy store. But all the toys are broken."
-- Steve Witham
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
-- Steve Haflich (alt.lang.design)