68 hits
Theists think all gods but theirs are false. Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.
You'll go to Heck if you don't believe in Gosh.
All good work is done in defiance of management.-- Bob Woodward
(as The Spice Girls play in background)
"What are they doing?"
"Psychological warfare." (Small Soldiers)
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.-- Steven Wright
And even priests were coming to spend some time in it, because of the collection of religious books. There were one thousand, two hundred and eighty-three religious books in there now, each one--according to itself--the only one any man need ever read. It was sort of nice to see them all together.-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)
Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.
"It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends."-- Dorothy Parker
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.-- Abraham Kapla
"And if you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress."-- Basil Fawlty
"Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones."-- Phillips Brooks
Primus in orbe Deus fecit timor.
"It was fear that introduced gods into the world."
You humans are all alike.
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matter compared to what lies within us.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'll say it again for the logic impaired.-- Larry Wall
"We need a new cosmology. New Gods. New Sacraments. Another drink."-- Patti Smith
Monday is the root of all evil.
"Science has made gods of us before we were even worthy of being men."-- Jean Rostand
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
-- Mark Twain
Saying that Java is better just because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is better just because it works on all genders
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.-- Larry Wall
Basically, to learn Unix you learn to understand and apply a small set of key ideas and achieve expertise by expanding both the set of ideas and your ability to apply them-- Paul Murphy
The direct use of physical force is so poor a solution to the problem of limited resources that it is commonly employed only by small children and great nations.-- David Friedman
All your base pairs are belong to us
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
"Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest."-- Neil Kinnock
Glossofacilia: A tendency to use very large words to explain very small phenomena. Glossofacilia drives to complexify rather than simplify and is the natural instinct of reactionaries to an age of change.-- Jim Taylor
Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
Regrettable Necessity, n:
An avoidable atrocity. The term is often employed by presidents and prime ministers when announcing bombings of civilian targets and invasions of small countries.-- Chaz Bufe (The Devil's Dictionaries)
Jason squared his shoulders, drew the Sword of - I couldn't give a toss what it's supposed to be called, he said to himself, I shall call it Freckles - and took one step forward.-- Tom Holt ("Ye Gods!")
Sniglet, n: Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal sized billiard balls.-- Terry Pratchett (The Light Fantastic)
Most of us ask for advice when we know the answer but we want a different one.-- Ivern Ball
Choconiverous, adj: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Know thyself. If you need help, call the C.I.A.
We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when it's necessary to compromise.
-- Larry Wall
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
Women treat us just as humanity treats its gods. They worship us and are always bothering us to do something for them.-- Oscar Wilde
Spirtle, n: The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
The truth shall make you free, but first it shall make you angry.
Pigslice, n: The last unclaimed piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Anybody who goes to see a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.-- Samuel Goldwyn
Spagmumps, n: Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Magnocartic, adj: Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Elbonics, n: The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"If I want your opinion, I will give it to you."
Petonic (peh ton' ik), adj: One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."-- Lucille Ball
"Greek mythology says that whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. I'd never been sure whether 'mad' meant crazy or angry. Either way, the gods were working on me pretty good right now."-- Darien Fawkes (The Invisible Man)
You will trip and fall over a three-eared cat today
Aquadextrous, adj: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor influence over your associates, and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.