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My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him "If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion." He said "Alright; you're ugly too."
-- Rodney Dangerfield
Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so.
-- Lord Chesterfield
I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words.
"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little."
-- Porterfield
When in danger, when in doubt,
run in circles, scream and shout.