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See my big frustration here is that my main squeeze has turned out to be a Late Blooming Nerd, and is in the habit of (in the midst of cuddling) saying sweet things like "you think if I disable the caching it would work?"-- Ro Reid
"The bigger the information media, the less courage and freedom they allow. Bigness means weakness."-- Eric Sevareid
What is dignity without honesty?-- Cicero
Everyone is a genius. It's just that some people are too stupid to realize it.
In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it.-- Ani Difranco
"Those who realize their folly are not true fools"-- Chuang Tzu
Books: A controlled hallucinogen known to regularly cause people to imagine things that are not really there.
Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.-- Philip K Dick
The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand.
We listen to reply.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize there is a very close resemblance to the first.-- Ronald Reagan
Ralph's Observation: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
A good pun is its own reword.
Recursive, adj: See Recursive.
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.-- Albert Einstein
> Those who will not study history are condemned to repeat it.
And those who do study it, tend to repeat each other.-- Ketil Malde
Education's purpose is to replace an open mind with a full one.-- David Nestor
No Risk Lifestyle, n:
Death
Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily.-- George Santayana
You go right on thinking that. Don't let reality stop you.-- dpm
Brandolini's law: The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude larger than to produce it.
Boycott shampoo. Demand real poo!
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will he will be sure to repent it.-- Socrates
Law of Cat Elongation:
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
"The first thing to remember about Unix is that nothing is ever spelled correctly."-- Steve Lidie
The revolution will NOT be televised.
Law of Cat Inertia:
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.-- Oscar Wilde
Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in.-- Amy Lowell
Experience allows you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.-- Franklin P. Jones
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.-- Anais Nin
A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one.-- J. Pierpoint Morgan
"Before you go and criticize the younger generation, just remember who raised them."
Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.-- G. M. Trevelyan
Microsoft: Re-inventing the square wheel.
"We are at times too ready to believe that the present is the only possible state of things."-- Marcel Proust
"I sound like a fruitcake sitting here saying all this shit."-- Trent Reznor
Err. I'm visualising. I'm either really scared, or really turned on.
Or both. Maybe that's a typical reaction to Skud.-- Rebecca B. Gray
Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death
"Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them all."-- Henry David Thoreau
I'm an apatheist. The question is no longer interesting, and the answer no longer matters.-- petro (a.s.r)
The reward for a job well done is more work.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to really want to change.
"Most people do not watch TV because they want to watch TV. They watch TV to relieve themselves of the burden of finding something actually enjoyable to do."
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.-- Redd Foxx
"I wanted to make a little spot in the context of the record where there was this break in the action. In the midst of this buildup of these ever-growing, terrible machines, I just wanted to remember that there is somewhere... else."-- Trent Reznor
What is the nature of God? His nature is entirely dependent upon the age or culture that has reinvented him.-- Solomon Skink
There's no excuse for laziness, except for maybe if you've been in a real bad train accident, and had to have a large part of your brain removed.-- Lev L. Spiro
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.-- Ronald Reagan
Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.-- The Register
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.-- Jules Renord
"I know what I don't believe in. I know what I've rejected. But I'm not sure what I do believe in."-- Trent Reznor
As I stare into the abyss of the toilet bowl I try hard to rememeber the reason why I felt the desperate need to mix vodka and red wine with whiskey and tequila.-- Shirley Manson
Love thine enemies... it really pisses them off.
"I didn't want to come across as an industrial, snarling, Satan-singing entity"-- Trent Reznor
People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Guru, n: A computer owner who can read the manual.
"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."-- Mark Twain
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.-- Helen Keller
A BBC correspondent, reporting on plans to build a McDonalds amidst ancient Roman ruins: 'To really get into the spirit of Pompeii, the restaurant would have to be buried in volcanic ash. And if you ask me, that's not a bad idea.'
Lactomangulation - n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Don't publicly appear clever. It is a real nuisance.
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Headline: Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it.
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
You like ice cream. You like ice cream. You love it. You cannot resist ice cream. To resist is hopeless. Your existence is meaningless without ice cream.-- Ice cream van (Invader Zim)
Headline: Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
"You just realize you're not on Happy Days. It's the real world; You need to ignore what you are programmed by sitcoms to think your life should be."-- Trent Reznor
Piety, n: Reverence for the Supreme Being, based on His supposed resemblance to man.
The job of the poet is to render the world -- to see it and report it without loss, without perversion. No poet ever talks about feelings. Only sentimental people do.-- Mark Van Doren
Murphy's Law of Research:
Enough research, as well as insufficient research, will tend to support your theory.