62 hits
The senior wizard in a world of magic had the same prospects of long-term employment as a pogo stick tester in a minefield.-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
"Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?"
Given a choice between dancing pigs and security, users will pick dancing pigs every time.
Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
Anyone with a bit of intelligence and enough perseverance could do magic, which was why the wizards cloaked it with rituals and the whole pointy-hat business.
The trick was to do magic and get away with it.-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
"You mean it's all pretending?" said Victor.
The trolls exchanged a brief glance, which nevertheless contrived to say: amazing, isn't it, that things like this apparently rule the world.-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
"One minute I'm just another rabbit and happy about it, next minute whazaam, I'm thinking. That's a major drawback if you're looking for happiness as a rabbit, let me tell you. You want grass and sex, not thoughts like 'What's it all about, when you get right down to it?'"-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down.
The beasts of the field and fowls of the air did know Ridcully the Brown. They'd got so good at pattern-recognition that, for a radius of about twenty miles around the Ridcully estates, they'd run, hide or in desperate cases attack violently at the mere sight of a pointy hat.-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork, greatest of Discworld cities.
At least, there's a saying that there's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork.
And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
"Aaaarghhhh."
This was the noise made as he missed the lurching Thing by several meters and was realising that, if you have tied a rope to the top of a very high and extremely solid stone tower and are now swinging towards it, failing to hit something on the way is an error which you will regret for the rest of your truncated life.-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
Nothing true is popular, and nothing popular is true.
Serving drinks on aircraft causes turbulence.
I am two fools, I know, For loving, and for saying so in whining poetry.-- John Donne
You probably go to museums and complain that Monet pressed down too hard with his crayons because the picture is all bumpy.-- John Woods
A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention.
"Not a Morning Person" doesn't even begin to cover it.
Politics: Poly (many) - tics (blood sucking parasites)
Every time I have to pipe something into awk I get this mental picture of a big fat seagull with stdin connected at the wrong end.-- Arther van der Harg (a.s.r.)
Join the army: meet interesting people, then kill them.
"Reminds me of a humorous sf story I read a few years back where an amoeboid alien escaped punishment this way (it was guilty of selling pornographic pictures to earthly biologists who used them to illustrate mitosis in their textbooks). Both the resulting individuals claimed innocence, and pointed out that they were underage."
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.-- Bill Gates
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."-- George Burns
"Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies."-- Adrienne Gusoff
"Picture the sun as the origin of two intersecting 6-dimensional hyperplanes from which we can deduce a certain transformational sequence which gives us the terminal velocity of a rubber duck ..."
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.-- Mary Little
The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.-- Harry Emerson Fosdick
Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
"I figured out why I'm not getting seriously rich. I write newspaper columns. Nobody ever makes newspaper columns into Major Motion Pictures starring Tom Cruise. The best you can hope for, with a newspaper column, is that people will like it enough to attach it to their refrigerators with magnets shaped like fruit."-- Dave Barry
The phrase *I* like is: "Code as if the next guy to read it is a raving psychopath who knows where you live."
Following that by passing out a sheet asking them to list their names and addresses is optional, but recommended.
-- improving code quality - lessons from the SDM
Accountant - someone who can put two and two together and make a living from it.
Before I came here I was confused about this subject. Having listened to your lecture I am still confused, but on a higher level.-- Enrico Fermi
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."-- Theodore Rubin
Adultery - two wrong people doing the right thing.
Having your book turned into a movie is like seeing your oxen turned into bouillon cubes.-- John LeCarre
"Finding out what goes on in the C.I.A. is like performing acupuncture on a rock."-- New York Times
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)... and says, "Here, you can go."-- Steven Wright
Lecture, n: Where the notes of the professor become the notes of the student without passing through the mind of either one.
Pedaeration, n: Achieving the perfect body heat by having one leg under the sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Maybe love is letting people be just what they want to be. The door always must be left unlocked.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.-- Oscar Wilde
"All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture"-- Bumper sticker
America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned, and the scum floats to the top.
The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.-- Robert Frost
"All children are morbid. It is their one saving grace."-- Truman Capote
"I open up more when it's conversational. Otherwise, they're proving how smart they are, and I'm proving how smart I am. It's a penis race, and we're both losing. I'd rather just hang out and see where it can go."-- Tori Amos (The Orlando Sentinel, April 12, 1996)
There's a difference between knowing something and realizing it.
I was wise enough to never grow up while fooling most people into believing I had.-- Margaret Mead
Maybe you can keep me from ever being happy, but you're not gonna stop me from having fun.-- Ani Difranco