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I have an IQ of 150, if that's worth anything.
-- Zak May
We use base 10 numerical representations in this country, not base 6.

-- Melinda Shore

The use of either 'PC' or 'lighten up' is usually enough to cause me to junk an article: the former indicates that the writer is a raving moron incapable of original thought, while the latter is a pretty clear indication that the writer is an insensitive clod.
-- Melinda Shore

Life is too short not to be horny on main

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?"
-- Linda Ellerbee

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

Maturity is only a short break in adolescence.
-- Jules Feiffer

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
-- Solomon Short

Sign on an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts"

May a Misguided Platypus lay its Eggs in your Jockey Shorts.